


On thin ice

by Anonymous



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bodyguard Romance, Crying, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Knight Lee Felix, M/M, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Prince Seo Changbin, Seo Changbin is Whipped, Side Ships, Snow, Witchcraft, but instead it's felix snowflake, felix sunshine, past execution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29499369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Lee Felix is a knight, charged with protecting the Second Prince Seo Changbin.Felix has hated the job since he started it, forced into hiding the fact that Changbin's father executed Felix's father many winters ago for practicing magic.But when a particularly harsh winter forces all secrets into the open, Felix finds himself seeking solace in the arms of the one he'd always promised to hate.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8
Collections: Winter Nights & Summer Days: Round One





	1. Once upon a time...

**Author's Note:**

> heyyyaaa, this is my submission for the Winter Nights Changlix ficfest. thank you so much to mods for organising this <33
> 
> the prompt i wrote for: 'prince changbin and knight felix where felix hates changbin because changbin's father  
> executed felix's father (in winter) in front of the mass for practicing magic, but at the same time felix has to protect changbin'
> 
> enjoy!!
> 
> tw: angst, past execution, death of a parent, minor violence, felix is forced into his job and doesn't really like it. please stay safe whilst reading <3

_Several winters ago…_

The snow was deathly cold under Felix’s knees.

He was sprawled on the ground, his head in his hands, his legs pressed onto the floor, goosebumps scorching along his arms with the force of the chill that was wracking through him.

But the cold wasn’t even the worst part. The winter wasn’t even what was truly hurting Felix. The worst part was the absolute shredding pain that was searing through his chest. His heart was torn apart, his lungs ripping against his ribs, his entire body shaking with the brutal sobs that felt like they were trying to shatter him to pieces.

Felix could feel winter breaking against his skin, making him want to press himself in the snow and drown in it. But even the ice in the air wasn’t enough to sedate the burning pain that was boiling like molten lava in his core.

Felix couldn’t believe it had happened so quickly.

He was barely even a teenager, just a young boy, and in the space of just a few hours everything had been taken from him.

They’d never seen it coming.

Felix had been tending to the fire, waiting for another peaceful evening of cooking with his father, when the front door was suddenly thrown open and ripped off its hinges. Felix had jumped so harshly he’d scalded himself, but that seemed so stupid, so irrelevant, compared to what had happened next.

It was the Kingdom Knights. They’d ransacked through his house, hissing about wizards and sorcerers and the absolute evil of magic and Felix had felt his heart drop when he realised they were speaking about his father.

Felix’s father. The only person in Felix’s life. The one who raised Felix after losing his mother during childbirth, the one who’d loved him and taught him, in secret, how to make the world a beautiful place.

But the royal family didn’t think magic was beautiful, they thought it was satanic, and anyone found to be practicing it was immediately sentenced to death.

Felix had tried to fight back, he’d tried _so hard_ , but he was just a freezing young boy struggling against a whole army of knights. He’d been forced to watch, amongst the shivering crowds in the town square, as his father was led up to the execution post and punished for his crimes.

Felix had screamed and cried and begged, his voice no doubt piercing and heart-breaking in the air, but no one had helped him, all too scared of meeting the same fate.

Night had fallen since then, bringing with it the true bite of winter, but Felix hadn’t moved. He was still knelt exactly where he’d been when his father had been killed. He was still sobbing, his entire body shivering and crying in the snow.

He couldn’t go back to his house, not when the knights had ransacked it, and there was not a single person in the town who would take him in after what happened. He was alone with nowhere to go.

And it’s not like Felix would have wanted to go anywhere. He wanted to stay with his father. He wanted to stay at the same spot forever, the spot where he’d seen his father for the last time.

Felix sobbed harder.

He tried to pull his measly jacket around himself, but the action only caused Felix’s hair to fall in his face and that brought with it a fresh wave of pain.

Felix’s hair, unlike anyone else’s in the town, was a luscious blond. It was almost white, shining like silver in the winter and sunshine in the summer. It fell beautifully round his face, forever healthy and gorgeous and attracting the attention of anyone who saw him.

Felix loved it.

The blond colour was a result of a spell gone wrong when Felix was a baby. His father had been trying to cast a protection spell on him, but something had malfunctioned and Felix had ended up losing all his hair. His father had later described his shock when, a few days later, Felix’s hair grew back bright blond.

They’d tried everything. Hair dye. Hair cuts. Bleach. But nothing worked. Felix’s hair stayed blond and beautiful no matter what they did, and Felix couldn’t say he hated it. Him and his father just told people it was a result of a stray gene from Felix’s mother’s side of the family and both fell in love with Felix’s gorgeous, wintery looks.

But now, as Felix’s hair fell into his face, sticking to his cheeks with his tears, his pain only pulsed harder. He felt a fierce hatred settle in his gut, concocting like a cauldron in his stomach and making him growl and clutch at his hair.

He screamed as he tried to rip it out, agony sizzling through him as his nails dug into his scalp and the strands tugged mercilessly against his skin.

But it was useless. Felix’s hair was stubborn and magic was even more stubborn and Felix was no match for it.

He was no match for anyone anymore.

As much as his father would scold him for it, Felix had accepted that he was basically left for dead.

His hands fell to the ground, fisting in the snow and crushing the ice between his fingers. It was cold. So goddamn cold. Like the king had killed Felix’s father, the winter was going to kill him.

But then Felix’s whole body tensed at the biting sound of footsteps.

The group of footsteps crunched against the ground, thick boots crushing snow with every step. Felix tried to curl into himself, tried to hide his face in his hands, but he whimpered when he accidentally rubbed ice over his skin, no doubt attracting the attention of whatever group of people were walking through the night.

Felix realised way too late that the footsteps were coming towards him.

He flinched back, throwing his head up and whimpering again when he saw the Kingdom Knights, their eyes set firmly on him. They had helmets covering their faces and spears in their hands and yet the sharpest thing Felix could feel was their glare stabbing into him.

Felix tried to scramble to his feet, but his legs were too cold and shaky and he ended up crashing back onto his knees. A hot arrow of anger pierced his chest when he heard the knights laughing at him.

They’d had the guts, the _audacity_ , to kill his father and leave him and now they were coming to what? To tease him? To taunt him? To finally finish the job and kill him?

Felix knew he was shivering out his mind, and that he was most likely not going to make it through the night alive, but he was damn sure he wasn’t going to let the Kingdom Knights take him down without a fight. Not after everything they’d done.

Felix let out a pathetic little growl when they stopped a few feet away from him. The noise wasn’t enough to scare any of them, but Felix smelt a small surge of pride when he saw a few knights blinking at him in surprise.

“I’d keep that mouth shut, boy,” one of the knights snarled back, Felix refusing to let himself be scared.

“And why should I?” Felix retorted back, feeling himself wince at the way his voice shook, “What more could you take from me?”

“I could take everything,” a new voice spoke this time, a voice that was far too regal to be a knight. It came from the back of the group, Felix furrowing his brow when all the knights stepped aside and revealed…

Felix felt his heart the drop.

The king.

The actual king. The ruler of the kingdom. The one who’d ordered the death of Felix’s father.

He was standing in the snow a mere few feet away and staring down at Felix, his gaze hard and angry. Felix shivered harder, his stomach sinking with a very nasty feeling.

The king started to take slow steps towards Felix, walking between the parted knights like he had control over every single one of them. Felix wanted to run, wanted to hide, but he also wanted to throw himself at the one who’d destroyed everything he loved.

Instead, Felix just curled up tighter on the floor.

He could feel the king’s glare boring into him, practically cutting him open and exposing him to all he wanted to see.

And yet, Felix refused to give in. He refused to bow. He looked back up at the king, meeting his glare with one of his own and refusing to back down.

“I thought I’d find you out here,” the king eventually said, the words pronounced like they were poison, “You’re a wicked little boy. And I, as your king, have to do everything in my power to make sure you don’t end up like your wretched father.”

Felix felt a growl start in his chest, burn through his throat and lash off his tongue like an animal. All his weakness was damned as he threw himself at the king, blind rage wrenching through him and controlling his hands like a puppeteer.

“You know nothing about my father!” Felix spat, barely even noticing the grips that wrapped around his arms and shoved him back, “I’d be lucky to end up like him! I’d rather end up like him than as a disgusting murderer like you!”

Felix didn’t even realise what he’d said until his struggling was stopped by a harsh sting to his cheek. He flinched, going slack in the knights’ arms as he tried to process the burning pain in his icy face.

The king was stood over him, hand still raised with the slap he’d delivered.

“Your father may have raised you to be disrespectful, but I am your _king_ ,” the king hissed, “I could have you executed for speaking to me like that, boy.”

Felix looked back up, glaring at the king through his bright bangs.

“Go on then, do it,” Felix snarled out through gritted teeth, “Kill me like you kill everyone else, you sick monster.”

The king’s glare hardened to rock and Felix tensed, expecting another slap, but instead Felix just felt another blaze of fear and fury course through him as the king leant down, bringing himself so he was eye-level with Felix, barely an inch from his face.

“You’re lucky I have use for you, boy,” the king whispered, his voice curling at the edges with his growl, “You’re lucky your father raised you to be such a brute. I can see you know how to defend yourself, magic folk like you are always dirty like that.”

Another lightning bolt of anger struck Felix’s chest. He roared, throwing himself against the knights’ grips and almost head-butting the king. But the knights were much too strong for him, and Felix was still too cold and distressed to even fight back when the king grabbed his chin in a biting grip.

“Don’t think you’re irreplaceable,” the king spat in his face, “I can find another delinquent like you if I need to. Don’t think I won’t put you up there.”

With that, the king harshly turned Felix’s head, forcing him to look at the execution post that still stood tall and proud in the town square.

Felix felt himself go limp, another explosion of pain rattling through his chest as he looked at what had killed his father. Tears rushed to his eyes, a sob escaping his chest despite how hard he tried to stop it.

He hated to admit it, but Felix knew his father never would forgive him if he ended up dying exactly how his father did. Felix knew he couldn’t let that happen to himself.

He dropped his head, submitting to the knights’ grip and trying to ignore the absolute devastation bleeding through him as the king laughed.

“That’s more like it,” the king taunted, his voice feeling like knives against Felix’s skin, “That’s the quiet little boy I need.”

Felix managed to raise his head, looking at the king through his tears, “What do you want from me?”

His voice was small, too small, and he hated himself for the way the king looked down at him smugly.

“I have use for you,” the king said, “My middle son, the Second Prince Changbin, is around your age and just starting his royal duties. He rejects every single form of protection I give him. Maybe you can help.”

“How the hell would I protect him?” Felix couldn’t help but let the sarcasm leak into his voice, tensing again when the king gave him another angry look.

“I figured my son would actually enjoy getting to boss around a mindless little criminal like you,” the king said, his voice harder this time, “You can fight, I know you can, which means you can protect him and let him walk all over you like the prince he is.”

Felix felt his heart squeeze, nausea starting to curl in his stomach as he processed the words. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to stick his head in the snow. He wanted… he wanted his father back.

What Felix definitely didn’t want was to take care of the bratty little son of the man who had killed his father.

But then the king grabbed Felix’s face again, leaning in so close Felix felt every single one of his words smack him in the face.

“If you fail,” the king twisted his lips disgustingly around what he was saying, “Then you end up like your father.”

Felix gagged.

The king jumped back, yelling about how Felix was a disgusting brat, perfect to be something as looked down-upon and mistreated as a knight. Felix wanted to refuse. He wanted to refuse so badly.

But he couldn’t.

His fate was sealed.

Felix looked back up at the king, his entire body screeching at him to stop. But he forced himself to meet the king’s gaze, forced himself to nod, forced himself to endure it as the king broke out until evil maniacal laughter.

“That’s a good boy,” the king laughed, “I think we’ll make an excellent knight out of you.”

Felix swallowed heavily. He was now a Kingdom Knight.

Felix was charged to protect the family that had killed his.

He collapsed in the knights’ arms, his entire body going numb as he let them drag him away. The king was rambling about Felix’s new duties, about how much he was going to hate them, but Felix could barely hear him over the high-pitched ringing in his ears.

Felix cast one last glance back at the execution post.

 _I’m sorry father_ , he thought.


	2. Sculpted calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No,” Hyunjin answered as he turned to look at Felix, a mischievous grin on his face, “But if you keep turning up late, the king’s going to throw his dinner knife at you one day.”
> 
> “I’d like to see him try,” Felix smirked, “I know for a fact that I’m a better knife-thrower than him.”

It was several winters later when Felix was, once again, freezing cold.

His armour wasn’t enough to keep the chill at bay, it never was, and he was left to shiver silently to himself as he crossed through the inch-deep snow in the castle courtyard.

Trees were frozen around him, their branches a dead silver and their remaining leaves a crisp white. All wildlife had gone into hibernation, most of the townspeople huddled together in their houses, making the castle a very quiet place as Felix made his way to his duties.

He was on the night-shift, tasked to watch over his charge during dinner and whilst he slept. It was the shift Felix preferred. It meant he didn’t have to talk to The Second prince much, didn’t have to entertain his stupid royal duties and even stupider attempts to get to know Felix.

Which meant Felix, as usual, had to force himself through another gruelling 12 hours of watching over a prince he hated. Then another four hours of brutal sparring and training. And then a tiny bit of sleep and an even tinier bit of food before it all started again.

Felix was, once more, fashionably late.

He was aware the king would glare at him the moment he stepped into the dining room. He was aware that Changbin would give him that confused look he always did. Felix didn’t care.

He almost strolled into the castle, taking a detour through a few identical hallways before he finally arrived at the huge, dawning doors of the dining room. Changbin would already be eating inside with his family and Felix would definitely be interrupting by walking in now, but Felix still didn’t care.

Just before he made his way in, Felix made sure to puff up his hair. It was still its gorgeous blond, sparkling dazzlingly under the castle lights. It was long, reaching his shoulders, and styled into a side-mullet, making Felix look all the more extravagant.

Felix had hated his hair when he’d first lost his father, but now he wore it as a badge of pride. It was the last magical piece left of him, the last reminder of his lost family. The king also absolutely hated it, which made Felix flaunt it as much as he possibly could.

The dining-room doors made an almost unbearable screeching noises when Felix finally let himself in. He had to resist a smirk as all eyes in the room turned to him, mainly the king’s glare which bored into Felix as evilly as he could likely muster, but Felix just nodded back at him, smiling in a way that was overly-polite and so sickly-sweet that it made the king furious.

“Knight,” the king levelled at him, his gaze almost as piercing as it had been the night he’d found Felix, “You’re late.”

“I’m sorry, my king,” Felix said, his tone sincere but his face conveying that he didn’t mean a word he was saying. He dropped into a bow, staring up at the king through his blond bangs and practically daring him to cause a scene.

Ever since Felix had properly learned to defend himself, he’d taken incredible delight in reminding the king that he wasn’t scared of him anymore.

It drove the king mad.

“I promise it won’t happen again,” Felix carried on, everyone in the room knowing full-well that it would happen again, but none of them saying anything as the king just nodded.

“Go to your post,” he ordered, lips pursed, “Keep quiet.”

Felix smiled another sweet smile, having to resist a giggle as a fire lit in the king’s eyes.

But then Felix’s eyes drifted to the three princes, to Second Prince Changbin and his two brothers; First Prince Chan and Third Prince Jisung, and Felix’s smile dropped.

The Three princes, particularly Changbin, were giving him their usual looks of a vile mixture of sympathy and puzzlement. They were all regal young men, with gorgeous silk dark hair and chiselled faces and kind eyes. They also had an undoubtable royal presence and an incredible command over the kingdom, but Felix knew he was just a mystery to them, maybe even a little intimidating.

He’d been young when he was brought to the castle, even younger than Jisung, and the three boys had immediately tried to befriend him. Felix had been fierce to refuse. He didn’t want to be friends with the sons of the man who’d killed his father.

They’d never tried to find out why Felix was so refusing of them and their relationship had never gone beyond formal co-workers, which was unusual because the princes were known to be loving and close with all their staff. Felix figured he was the only exception to that, and that was how he intended to stay.

Felix was silent as he turned to make his way towards the far-wall of the room, where Chan and Jisung’s knights and Felix’s partner knight were standing. The partner knight gave Felix a fierce look, not even saying goodbye to him as he huffed past Felix and stormed away, obviously annoyed that he had to work to accommodate for another day Felix’s deliberate lateness.

Felix kinda felt sorry for the other knight who watched Changbin, but also kinda not.

“Good evening,” Felix said quietly, leaning up against the wall next to Chan and Jisung’s knights and resting a hand on the dagger attached to his belt, “Did I miss anything fun?”

“No,” Hyunjin, Jisung’s knight, answered as he turned to look at Felix, a mischievous grin on his face, “But if you keep turning up late, the king’s going to throw his dinner knife at you one day.”

“I’d like to see him try,” Felix smirked, “I know for a fact that I’m a better knife-thrower than him.”

At that, Hyunjin almost burst into giggles, having to press a hand on his mouth to keep himself silent as he whacked Felix in the shoulder. Felix just grinned back at him, finally happy to be in decent company.

Hyunjin was a knight Felix had met a couple of winters ago. He was ridiculously beautiful, with lithe god-like muscles and a face sculpted by heaven. He had a luscious black ponytail and a dark mole nestled under one eye, making him look almost fairy-like.

But Hyunjin was also dangerous. He was strong when he fought, with fast arms and sharp movements and a growl sat almost permanently on his face. He controlled every inch of his body, and he was damn intimidating when he did it. Which was possibly why he was assigned to the youngest prince, Jisung.

Jisung was also beautiful, in a completely different way, and Felix knew that Hyunjin and Jisung’s relationship went way beyond knight and prince. Not that he’d ever tell anyone.

The same could be said for Chan’s knight, Minho, who didn’t hesitate to turn around and hit them both over their heads when they didn’t stop laughing, casting a quick glance at the royal family still eating in the middle of the room.

“I will not hesitate to hurt both of you, if you don’t shut up,” Minho hissed at them, but there was a tinge of endearment laced into his tone, his eyes shining in a way that suggested he’d never really hurt them.

“Sorry, hyung,” Felix grinned at him, letting Minho roll his eyes and then reach over to ruffle his hair.

Minho had been there when Felix had first been taken to the castle, and Felix had wormed his way under Minho’s wing and never left.

Minho was calm and collected and kind and didn’t hesitate to teach Felix everything he knew about being a knight. He was also absolutely stunning, with luscious dark hair and high cheekbones. Felix had been intimidated by him at first, but he’d soon fallen in love.

But Felix also knew that Prince Chan had fallen in love with Minho in a completely different way, one that Felix would also never tell anyone about.

Felix sometimes wondered if Hyunjin and Minho ever talked to their respective princes about him, if the princes were ever confused because Felix absolutely refused to be nice to them but was almost like a brother to Hyunjin and Minho. Felix was definitely curious, but that didn’t mean he cared.

And Felix definitely did _not_ care about his own prince, Changbin. He had absolutely no intention of ever starting the same type of relationship with Changbin. Ever.

At least that’s what Felix told himself.

Obviously, Felix was well aware that it wasn’t Second Prince Changbin that had killed his father, but that didn’t mean Felix had to be happy about the job he’d been forced into, or that he had to be accepting of the family Changbin came from.

In fact, knew Changbin wasn’t even aware of how Felix had become his knight, or of anything that happened before that, but Felix wasn’t keen on telling him. He looked after Changbin because he was forced to, not because of anything else and there was no point in changing that.

One day, Felix would run away. He was sure of it. He was old enough and trained enough now to survive on his own, but he kept telling himself that he was waiting for summer. He didn’t think he was quite ready to be alone for yet another few months of shivering.

The rest of dinner passed with its usual lack of excitement. The king and his family talked politics whilst Felix, Hyunjin and Minho tried to see how loud they could get before they got scolded. Minho and Hyunjin didn’t have a hatred for the royal family like Felix did, but that didn’t mean they weren’t also troublemakers.

Which meant that when dinner slowly started coming to an end, both Minho and Hyunjin turned towards Felix’s rolling eyes.

“So, Lix,” Minho’s voice was dripping with mischief, “You ready for another night with your little baby Changbinnie?”

His voice got high-pitched towards the end, his fists coming to rest against his cheeks and such a strong pout on hiss lips that Hyunjin pretended to gag.

Felix made a noise of disgust, “I hardly count staring into space whilst he sleeps as spending the night with him.”

“Aww, Lixie,” Hyunjin was the one pouting this time, “You don’t sit by his bed and watch his every movement like the good, caring knight you are?”

“Just because you two are all gross and lovey with your princes, doesn’t mean I have to be,” Felix huffed, shoving Hyunjin’s head away when he leaned in to wiggle his eyebrows at him, “I wouldn’t watch Changbin sleep if I was paid to do it, and that’s basically what I already do.”

Minho laughed, reaching over to flick Felix on the shoulder, “You’re too stubborn.”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin joined, “I get you’ve got the whole mysterious, icy-haired knight act going on and, trust me, you look hot doing it. But surely you have to give in at some point, let the prince see under the cold exterior.”

“The prince has to earn the right to see under the cold exterior,” Felix said, giving Hyunjin and Minho a pointed look, “And he’ll _never_ do that.”

Both Hyunjin and Minho looked crestfallen at that, Felix blinking slightly at the reaction. He had considered before that maybe his strained relationship with Changbin might affect more than anyone but himself. He just never thought that it would bother Hyunjin and Minho that much.

But seeing them, seeing the hope diminish in the eyes. Felix realised that maybe he was destroying the idea of the family that they were both so desperately hoping for, the idea of the three prince brothers and their three knights, all happy and in love together.

Even Felix could admit that the idea sounded nice, but then his eyes strayed back to the king, and he felt the familiar burn of grief coil in his gut.

It just wasn’t possible. The king had destroyed Felix’s family and left him with no hope of him finding another one, especially not with the King’s three sons.

Felix couldn’t be associated with the family that had killed his. He just couldn’t, even if it meant sacrificing what could have been a happy ending for all of them.

“I’m sorry, guys,” Felix turned back to Hyunjin and Minho, something a lot more serious than mischief shining in his eyes, “I just… can’t get close to Changbin. I wish I could explain it, but I can’t. Just trust me on this, okay?”

Both Hyunjin and Minho stayed silent at that, brief surprise flickering over their faces before they pursed their lips and nodded. Unfortunately, neither of them knew what had happened to Felix and his father, they just knew Felix had been dragged shivering in the castle one day after something bad had happened to him.

Felix had wanted to tell them, he’d wanted to confide in them so bad, but they were both also knights who worked for the royal family and Felix didn’t want to risk making them angry enough that they abandoned their posts. There was also a part of Felix that was terrified they’d judge Felix and his father for their involvement in magic.

Magic was truly wonderful, Felix would always believe that, but he’d been taught in the hardest way that not everyone felt the same.

Eventually, Hyunjin broke the awkward silence that had fallen between them. He made a point of clearing his throat loudly and reaching across to carefully tangle his fingers with Felix’s.

“We trust you, Lix,” he said softly, “Just do whatever makes you comfortable, okay?”

Felix smiled at him, relief tingling in the skin of his hand that Hyunjin pressed into, “Thanks, Hyunnie.”

Hyunjin smiled back, guiding Felix’s head to rest on his shoulder as they waited for the royal family to finally finish.

Felix was practically drifting off by the time they were done, tired eyes watching as the king and queen bid their sons goodnight before leaving the room.

That’s when the atmosphere changed.

Felix was jolted upright as Hyunjin flew away from the wall with a squeal, his arms outstretched and legs taking him into a sprint.

He dashed across the floor, hair tussled behind him and his boots clunking violently. Prince Jisung immediately took off towards him from the other direction, his wide cheeks flushed and face pulled into such a smile that even Felix had to admit he was a little endeared.

They met in the middle of the room, Hyunjin picking up Jisung and swinging him around as they both screeched about how much they missed each other and how they couldn’t wait to spend another night together.

Chan and Minho’s reunion was much more sophisticated.

The two of them simply walked towards each other, smiles wide and eyes only on one another as their footsteps echoed cleanly across the floor.

When they met, Chan grabbed Minho by the waist and pulled him round, taking his hand as he dipped him towards the floor. Minho squeaked in surprise, leaning up to plant a peck on his lips.

“My prince,” he said, speaking with his most endeared voice that was reserved for Chan and Chan only.

“My knight,” Chan said back, letting the moment hang between them before he pulled Minho back up and helped him fix his hair.

Felix was almost too tempted to pretend to gag.

But then his gaze shifted and he caught sight of the way Changbin was walking almost gloomily towards him.

Felix felt a frown play against his lips, unused to seeing his prince so uncharacteristically quiet. Felix had long since figured out the fact that Changbin was jealous he didn’t have a relationship with Felix like his brothers did with their knights, but Felix had never found himself caring.

However, seeing Changbin get extra down about it, Felix couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt at the back of his mind…

 _No!_ Felix was quick to shake his head, forcing himself to push the guilt down. He had to remind himself exactly what Changbin’s father had done and why Felix would never, ever trust him, and why Felix should never feel bad about that.

“My knight.”

Felix was broken out his thoughts by a familiar voice from in front of him, his gaze flicking over to where Changbin was standing a few feet away and looking at him with a glass look in his eyes.

“My prince,” Felix responded, quickly standing up from the wall, “Are you ready to retire for the night or will we be staying a bit longer?”

Felix spoke courteously, but there were no niceties to the words. Changbin just looked away, his eyes moving over to where Chan and Minho, and Hyunjin and Jisung were all staring lovingly at each other. He sighed and turned back to Felix.

“I will retire for the night,” he said, voice quiet and his gaze dropping to the floor.

Felix nodded, trying to ignore the guilt still at the back of his mind as he began to lead Changbin away.

He waved at both Hyunjin and Minho on the way not, not missing the way Changbin followed the action, probably wondering why Felix could be nice to the other knights but not to him.

Neither of them said anything as Felix lead Changbin back to his bedroom. He held Changbin’s arm as they walked over the ice, not letting him slip, and kept his other hand on his dagger at all times, ready to come to Changbin’s defence should anything happen.

But the walk passed without event and Felix was soon sighing and leaning against the wall outside Changbin’s bedroom as he waited for the servants to finish getting Changbin ready for bed.

Felix hated to admit it, but sometimes the heavy silences between him and Changbin got hard to bear.

He stared across the hallway as he waited, looking out a clean glass window that showed Felix the true complexities and evil of a winter night.

It looked beautiful out, with snowflakes like glitter and thick clouds like blankets, but Felix knew better than to see the beauty in it. He knew how winter was the season that carried bite. It chilled him to his core and shivered through his skin.

Even years later, Felix could still feel the ice scraping along his knees from the night his pre-teen self really had been chilled down to the bone.

Maybe if winter hadn’t been so cold that year, Felix’s father wouldn’t have been using magic to keep the fire going. Maybe they never would have been caught and separated. Maybe Felix wouldn’t have been too cold and too frail to fight back.

Maybe Felix would now be spending his winter days collecting herbs and crafting spells with his father, not orphaned and guarding a prince he hated.

Felix looked away from the window.

He turned to the side, his gaze catching on the door just in time to watch Seungmin, his favourite servant, leaving the bedroom.

“Hey, penguin,” Seungmin smiled at him, stepping forward to carefully brush some of Felix’s hair away from his face, “You on the night shift again?”

“As expected,” Felix smiled back, forgetting about winter at the feeling of Seungmin’s warm fingers on his face, “I see you’re stuck here too.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes, “I’m not stuck here,” he said, “I’m happy to work, you know that.”

“My bad,” Felix smirked, “Sometimes I forget you’re a goody-two-shoes.”

“No, you do _not_!” Seungmin exclaimed, reaching over to shove Felix in the shoulder, “You just like to make fun of me for it.”

“Well, you got me there,” Felix couldn’t help but laugh, “I don’t always make fun of you though. It’s cute.”

“Yeah, yeah, save the flirting for later,” Seungmin said, making Felix snort, “I heard you’re on the night-shift again tomorrow?”

Felix stood up straighter, “Of course, I am. Why?”

“Because you know it’s the Three Princes’ annual winter performance, right?” Seungmin said, “You know the one where they sing all the songs they wrote together for the kingdom?”

Felix nodded, furrowing his brows as he tried to work out what Seungmin was getting at.

“Yeah, I know about it,” Felix said, “I’ve accompanied Prince Changbin and his brothers to all the annual performances so far. They’re always boring and over-rated and I couldn’t care less about any of it. Tomorrow won’t be any different.”

Seungmin pinned with Felix with a look, pausing for a second before he spoke again, “Now _that_ is where you’re wrong.”

Felix tilted his head, a nasty feeling starting to flicker in his chest, “What do you mean?”

“Prince Changbin just let Jeongin and I read one of the songs he’s singing tomorrow,” Seungmin explained, worrying at his lip before he carried on, “It’s sad… really sad. And I think it might be particularly hard for you.”

Felix felt his back start to bristle, his grip tightening on the dagger his hand was resting on.

He tried not to dwell on what Seungmin could be talking about, tried to just discount it, but Felix knew he couldn’t.

Seungmin was the only person Felix had ever told about his father. He was Felix’s best friend, Felix’s true comfort in the castle, the only one who knew the true depth of Felix’s emotional vulnerability. Felix knew Seungmin would never bring up Felix’s past if it wasn’t important.

Felix swallowed heavily.

“So what?” he said, trying to seem unbothered despite knowing Seungmin would see right through it, “Who cares if Prince Changbin wrote a sad winter song? He has no idea of my tragic backstory. And there’s no way that anything Changbin does could ever get to me.”

“Changbin gets to you a lot more than you’re willing to let yourself believe,” Seungmin said instantly, barely even reacting when Felix’s gaze hardened towards him, “Look, I’m not trying to upset you or start anything here. I just thought I should warn you so you’re prepared for tomorrow.”

Felix let the words wash over him, looking away for a few seconds before he nodded. As much as Felix didn’t agree with Seungmin about Changbin, the last thing he wanted to do was take it out on him, not when Seungmin only ever had his best interests at heart.

“Thanks, Min,” Felix eventually said, giving him a small smile, “You know I always appreciate you, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Seungmin smiled, his hand finding its way onto Felix’s shoulder, “I know you don’t always want to hear this stuff, but I always appreciate how brave you are when I say it.”

Warmth blossomed in Felix’s chest at that, enough warmth that it temporarily fought off the winter chill that seemed to have permanently sewn its way under his skin.

He was about to respond to Seungmin, to tell him he was cute again, but then the bedroom door opened and the other servant that had been inside finally walked out.

“Hey, Felix,” Jeongin said, eyes pulled up at the corners and his usual sunny smile on his face, “The Prince is ready to sleep now.”

“Alright, Innie, thank you,” Felix said, playfully flicking him on the forehead, “Go back with Seungmin now, yeah? Don’t stay up too late.”

Jeongin giggled, “No promises, hyung.”

Felix just shook his head, pretending to scold him, “Brat.”

“Hey!” Seungmin exclaimed, pulling Jeongin into his side and making a point of landing a loud, sloppy kiss on his cheek, “Don’t call my baby a brat!”

“As long as you stop being gross,” Felix pulled a disgusted face, “Go away, both of you! I have a job to do.”

“Oh yeah, because that’s a job you really can’t wait to get to,” Jeongin said, making Felix scoff at him, “Make you sure you don’t pout too much when you’re in there, hyung.”

“I do not pout!” Felix said, his eyes widening when both Seungmin and Jeongin started laughing at him.

“You have the cutest pout,” Jeongin said, reaching out to poke Felix’s cheek, “And that’s coming from me!”

“Yeah, well, you pout more than I do,” Felix said, “And I apparently pout around Changbin, which means I must pout a lot.”

“Oh, you definitely do,” Seungmin said, his tone suggesting that he was going as far as to under-exaggerate his words, “But the prince probably finds it cute, so don’t stop.”

Now _that_ brought a reaction out of Felix, his mouth dropping open as he reached out to whack Seungmin in the chest, “Alright, that’s it! Both of you off to bed. Now!”

Seungmin and Jeongin erupted into a series of cackles, Jeongin’s eyes crescented into little foxy moons as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Felix.

“Goodnight, hyung!” he said, Felix unable to resist hugging him back.

“Goodnight, penguin,” Seungmin said once Jeongin stepped away, automatically taking Jeongin into his side, “Don’t stay up brooding too long.”

The words seemed friendly enough, but Felix knew they were referring to the more serious discussion they’d been having before. Felix narrowed his eyes slightly, nodding at Seungmin as he tried not to think about what the next night might have in store.

Seungmin turned to walk away, Jeongin pattering behind him when Seungmin suddenly stopped and looked back at Felix, an unreadable look in his eyes.

“And just remember, Lix,” Seungmin said, “I know you don’t like winter, but it’s not a bad thing that it’s such an unpredictable season. It just means that you never really know what’s going to happen.”

And with that, Seungmin was swivelling around and walking away before Felix could even try and think of a response.

_You never really know what’s going to happen._

Felix blinked to himself, his mind starting to whirl as he processed the words. He tried to tell himself to not dwell on them, but it was hard not to dwell on something Seungmin said. Seungmin just had a way of knowing, of seeing things way beyond just what they looked like.

Felix’s head was still spinning as he turned to Changbin’s bedroom door, suddenly nervous to step inside. But he quickly shook his head, trying to force the bad thoughts away.

It was just Changbin. That’s all it was. Felix didn’t even have to be nice to Changbin. Felix didn’t have to be _anything_ to him. He hated Changbin.

However, there was some tiny voice in Felix’s head whispering that maybe he didn’t really hate Changbin. Maybe it had never actually been Changbin’s fault.

Felix pushed the thought down, it wasn’t the time to be thinking such things.

_You never really know what’s going to happen._

Felix swallowed heavily, running a hand through his hair and straightening his armour before he stepped towards the bedroom door, opening it with Seungmin’s words running rampant through his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (p.s. seungmin's 'penguin' nickname for lix is inspired by the fact that an old friend of mine always used to call me by the petname 'chicken' in a really endearing way so i decided to give the name to lix with a little wintery twist for this story <3)


	3. Stormy words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was obvious the princes were talented, Felix had been to enough of their performances to know that, but something about the warmth in their voices mixing with the chill of winter, it had a shiver shaking down Felix’s spine.

The Annual Winter Performance of the Three Princes was a lot more unbearable than Felix remembered.

It was as Seungmin had said, a knight for the three princes to perform for as many people in the kingdom as they could fit in the castle. Felix had always dreaded it, even when he was just a kid living with his father, but there wasn’t anything he could do to get out of it. Especially now that he was on duty for it.

The throne room was packed, absolutely brimming with every member of the kingdom Felix could possibly think of. They were all dressed in their best white clothing, with rosy cheeks and wide smiles and gushy eyes as they talked about how much they couldn’t wait to see _the three beautiful men on the stage_.

Felix was barely resisting the urge to throw up.

He had to admit the room was nice though. It was decorated like all of the nice parts of winter. There were giant silk snowflakes hanging from the ceiling and ice sculptures stood tall and magnificent all around the room. Felix’s favourite was a petite statue of a young girl with snowflakes coming out her fingertips, a look of pure unadulterated wonder on her face.

It reminded Felix of the picturesque spells his father used to cast in the air.

The lighting was also turned down slightly, giving the room a faint white glow that shined off the glitter on people’s eyes and twinkled gloriously with all the shadows on the walls. The curtains shone a long, elegant silver as they draped over the room’s humungous windows, blocking them all from the snow falling outside.

But the best part was that the throne room was always boiling hot, which meant that Felix was actually sweating in his armour instead of shivering in it. It seemed like a small thing, but it was a very welcome change for Felix.

During his time in the kingdom, Felix had attended many parties in the throne room, always stood to the side or following Changbin round to protect him. Felix found the parties semi-bearable; the music was okay and the food was always nice and Changbin had to be on his best behaviour so was slightly more tolerable for a few hours.

But, on the other hand, Felix also had to be on his best behaviour, which was difficult when his blond hair made him stand out so much and the majority of the kingdom still recognised him as the magic boy who’d sobbed on his knees after his father was executed in the town square years ago.

Because of that, barely anyone saw Felix as a knight. They still saw him as the broken young child who they didn’t dare to get anywhere near. Changbin often raised his eyebrows at the way people treated Felix, but he’d stopped asking after Felix had brushed him off the first hundred times he’d questioned what had happened between him and the kingdom.

However, Changbin hadn’t yet appeared for this particular event, leaving Felix alone for the moment.

The Three Princes were still backstage, getting readied by Jeongin and Seungmin, whilst Hyunjin, Minho and Felix were all posted at various positions around the room.

Felix was at the very far end, stood next to the entrance with a direct view to the glorious stage mantled in the centre of the room. He was leant against the wall with his arms folded, a boot propped up behind him and his hair swooped across his eyes. The people around him gave him looks, but he’d learnt to ignore them.

There was a part of Felix that was almost nervous for the performance. He’d spent all night thinking about Seungmin’s words and, in particular, about how Seungmin had warned Felix that one of Changbin’s songs might make him feel… something.

Felix had to admit the thought scared him. The relentless sadness and resentment he felt during winter was bad enough without one of the king’s sons making it worse, and Felix wasn’t ready to create a scene in front of a giant crowd of people who already judged him.

Worst of all, Changbin might see him, and Felix’s winter memories were absolutely none of Changbin’s business.

Felix resolved to just remain his icy self for the night, standing frozen against the wall and keeping his emotions cold inside him.

He just had to get through one night. That was it.

However, everything seemed to get so much harder when the princes finally did appear.

They were led into the room to the explosive cheers of their kingdom, their smiles bright on their faces and their hands held in graceful waves as they took their time stepping onto the stage.

Felix’s eyes immediately found Changbin, something unrecognisable starting to swirl in his chest as he stared at him.

Changbin was wearing a silk silver shirt, the material meshy and see-through, dotted in sparkles that didn’t quite cover Changbin’s body. He had on a thick white leather coat over the top, edges and collar shimmering with thick silver, snake-like patterns. The buttons were gold, each with a snowflake carved delicately into it, catching the lights gorgeously whenever Changbin moved the right way.

Changbin also wore leather trousers and silver ankle boots with a small heel. His waist was dripping with soft, shiny jewellery, his eyes shining with makeup and hair pushed back to make room for an elegant crown. His fingers were encased by silver fingerless gloves that curved satisfyingly around the microphone he was holding.

Chan and Jisung were similarly dressed. Felix didn’t have to look at Minho and Hyunjin to know they’d both be enthralled.

But then the three princes stepped up to their silver microphone stands and Felix’s skin started to tingle with anticipation.

Felix didn’t know why, but there was something about the performance this year that was doing something to him.

It was obvious the princes were talented, Felix had been to enough of their performances to know that, but something about the warmth in their voices mixing with the chill of winter, it had a shiver shaking down Felix’s spine.

Their first song whisked like a snowflake through the air; gentle in their voices but the lyrics hitting hard. Chan in particular was pushing all his emotion into his words, trapping the attention of every single person watching him.

Felix felt himself start to crumble bit by bit.

Chan and Jisung were both obviously naturally talented vocalists, but Changbin had improved a lot since last year and his voice… it was giving Felix chills.

Felix almost smacked himself in the face. _Why the hell did he care about anything Changbin did?_

But it was getting increasingly obvious that Felix _did_ care. His palms were starting to sweat, his head was spinning, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t take his eyes off Changbin.

Felix’s emotions were no longer ice in his core, they were molten lava burning through winter and heating him from the inside and making his fingers scorch with frost bite.

He needed to get out.

But he couldn’t look away from Changbin.

All Felix could do was stand there and melt on the spot as Changbin’s voice picked him apart piece by piece.

But then the worst part arrived, Changbin stepped centre stage to start his solo and Felix felt his heart jump into his throat.

Blood roared past his ears, barely able to make out Changbin introducing the title ‘Streetlight’ before the song was starting and Felix felt his legs shake.

A piano note echoed through the room, almost as loud as Felix’s heartbeat as Changbin started to sing. Felix was temporarily transported to another world.

Changbin rapped about his sadness. Changbin rapped about his failure. Changbin rapped about loss.

And then Changbin sang… Changbin sang about needing hope.

Felix felt himself break.

He was taken back to his childhood with his father, to the happiness and innocence he’d had before it was all ripped away. Felix used to be the light of day, used to be the town’s ‘sunshine’, used to be the bright blond kid with dotty freckles and a toothy smile.

And now…now Felix was bitter. Felix was grieving. Felix was an outcast. Felix pushed away a prince who clearly had more emotional depth than Felix could ever comprehend and Felix did it without regret.

Felix felt like the most horrible person in the world.

His father would be ashamed of him.

Felix didn’t even realise he was crying until the song faded out to its end. His cheeks were wet, his breath caught in his throat, but Felix didn’t realise the true depth of the wound that had been ripped open until Changbin looked his way.

And that’s when the last piece fell away.

Changbin’s eyes widened, seeming to forget about the entire kingdom as he caught sight of Felix. In all his years of knowing him, Changbin had probably never seen Felix without some sort of resentment on his face, had probably never known him without some bitter sense of forced tolerance.

But now Felix just looked like a kid. The same teary-eyed, messy-haired kid who’d been huddled in the snow all those years ago. All because of Changbin.

Changbin seemed to get over his surprise, braving a small smile at Felix that travelled all the way across the room just for him. Something that felt horribly like a sob formed in Felix’s chest.

And that was it.

All the years of resentment and anger towards Changbin exploded like a storm on a winter night and Felix felt himself break from the inside.

He did all he could think to do. He abandoned all his royal duties.

He turned and ran out the room.

~

The cold air smacked Felix in the face as he dashed down empty hallway after empty hallway before finally tumbling out into the courtyard.

His vision was blurry around him, his tears still smudged over his cheeks and his hair falling into his face as he finally stopped running.

He dropped to his knees in the snow, the ice grounding him as he forced deep breaths into his lungs, trying to shake away the thoughts still torturing at his mind.

Changbin’s song ‘streetlight’ continued to play over and over in his mind, Changbin’s sad voice rocking through him like a haunted melody.

Felix dropped his head into his hands, still crying.

_What the hell had happened to him?_

What the hell had happened to the happy, go-lucky boy who Felix used to be? Who the hell was he now that he’d lost his family and been forced into a situation he hated?

How long was Felix expected to carry on before he broke?

The snow fell all around him, screaming almost as loud as Felix’s emotions. He could feel the wind whipping and snapping at him, snow already collecting on his eyelashes and coating against his skin, but he ignored it, too busy tearing at the seams.

But then another voice broke through the storm, a familiar sad voice that sounded much, _much_ closer than Felix could have expected it to be. A familiar voice that had just been singing a song so sad that it had sent an arrow through Felix’s heart.

Felix whipped round, his heart jumping at the sight of Changbin struggling his way through the snow towards him.

“Prince Changbin!” Felix all but shouted, struggling to get to his feet, “What the hell are you doing out here?”

The snow was loud, but Felix knew Changbin could hear him. He was looking at Felix in a way that he never had before.

Felix took a few steps towards him, his mind screaming with questions. Had Changbin run off the stage, through all the crowds of people, just to get to _Felix_?

Had Changbin abandoned his royal duty for the night and disobeyed his father just for _him_?

“Felix!” Changbin shouted back, stopping just a few feet away from Felix, the snow still falling between them, “What the hell happened back there?”

Felix felt his breath get caught in his throat, all his emotions still twisting inside him like a tornado.

“Stay out of it, Changbin,” Felix took a step back, refusing to even think about how the hell he could put all his feelings into words, not wanting to admit anything to the one person he’d been seething at for years, “It doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” Changbin spoke like he couldn’t believe what Felix was saying, his eyes wide and panicked, “You just abandoned your post! You were… you were crying in there! I have never seen you cry before.”

“Exactly,” Felix couldn’t help but bite, irrational anger starting to flood through him as he was hit with the familiar urge to push Changbin away, “ _You_ never see me cry. This doesn’t concern you.”

Changbin’s face changed then, his usual puzzlement and innocence twisting into something darker… into something angrier.

Felix sucked in a breath. Changbin had spent a lot of time obviously bitter towards Felix, but never had he ever been outwardly angry.

“Of course, this concerns me!” Changbin snapped, making Felix flinch, “I could have sworn you were crying to my song in there! What the hell is that about, Felix?”

“I wasn’t crying!” Felix couldn’t help but snap back, hating himself for all the emotions shredding inside him, “And it wasn’t because of you. I don’t know why you’d think that!”

“Well, I don’t know what you want me to think!” Changbin yelled this time, taking a step towards Felix so aggressively that Felix scrambled to step back, “You spend all your time treating me horribly and then go and cry to my song? How am I supposed to react to that?”

Despite the cold crashing against his skin, Felix felt a searing dagger burn directly into his chest, coiling with red-hot rage inside him.

Felix clenched his fists, trying to force down the anger.

Changbin didn’t get to accuse Felix of being horrible. Changbin didn’t get to react to whatever Felix was feeling. Changbin didn’t get to make Felix cry and then follow him into a snowstorm and yell at him because Felix still didn’t know how to deal with the fact that Changbin’s father had killed Felix’s father.

Changbin didn’t get to care like that.

A part of Felix knew he was being irrational, but he was also emotional and unstable and still not prepared to let Changbin get anywhere near him.

What if Changbin made Felix hate him more?

Even worse… what if Changbin made Felix like him?

“I never treated you horribly,” Felix eventually forced out through gritted teeth, still desperately trying to keep down his anger, “I treated you like a guard is supposed to treat a prince. I was only ever doing my job.”

Changbin’s eyes widened even more at that, blazing like two meteors in the night sky. He was scorching with his heat, his anger finally unleashing as he stormed towards Felix to close the distance between them.

Briefly, Felix registered how beautiful Changbin looked when he finally showed emotion towards Felix.

“We spend every day together, Felix!” Changbin yelled, his gestures slicing his beauty into pieces and his mouth growling in Felix’s face, “We’re together all the time! We don’t have to have a relationship like the others do, but you… you never even tried to be my friend.”

At the end, Changbin’s voice trailed off, the close distance between them being the only reason Felix could hear him.

Felix had to hold back a gasp as his heart started to splinter in his chest, a hot wave of pain rushing through him at the words.

If only Changbin knew why Felix had never been his friend.

“You’ve no idea why I treated you like I did!” Felix was the one yelling this time, his desperation turning to blind rage as two of his hands came up and shoved Changbin harshly in the chest, making him stumble back in the snow, “You’ve no idea what your family did to force me here! You’ve no idea what your family has put me through! You’re all so happy to sit around and pretend this is a perfect kingdom when it’s not! Your kingdom causes pain to people like me.”

Felix didn’t know whether he was crying again or there was just too much snow on his face. What he did know was that Changbin was looking at him like he’d grown an extra head.

Felix had never admitted anything like that to Changbin before.

“Then tell me!” Changbin was quick to insist, his voice quieter his time, more desperate, as he took a tentative step back towards Felix, “I know my family isn’t perfect, okay? I know that. Just tell me what happened and maybe… maybe I can fix it.”

And that is when the true storm unleashed.

Felix’s vision went white with rage.

“YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIX THIS!” Felix screamed, his voice ripping from his throat like an animal from its cage, “YOU WILL NEVER, EVER BE ABLE TO FIX WHAT YOUR FATHER HAS DONE!”

Felix was so angry he didn’t notice how terrified Changbin was, his voice cracking and shredding and his eyes wild as he descended upon Changbin, spitting and swearing the whole way.

“Your whole family is a family of monsters!” Felix cursed, “I get devasted and dragged here and you all want me to pretend that I like you, but I don’t! I don’t like you! I can’t like you after everything you’ve taken from me. I can’t like you after what your father has done.”

Felix stopped when he was a mere inch from Changbin’s face, heavy breaths panting through his chest and his eyes firing into Changbin’s.

Changbin still looked scared, but there was rage in his eyes again, a flickering fire that burned brighter whenever Felix yelled about Changbin’s family.

“If you hate my family so much,” Changbin’s voice was made of rock, strong and solid and refusing to break as he stared dead into Felix’s eyes, “Then leave. We don’t want you in the castle anyway.”

“Oh my god!” Felix practically wailed, turning to drop his head into his heads, the snow raining down onto his hair, “Don’t you get it, you stupid idiot?! I can’t leave! Your father has a threat hanging over me, I can never leave here.”

A deep fear rooted in Felix as he spoke. His mind reeling back to the execution post and the malicious way the king had threatened to put Felix on it if he didn’t fall in line.

That execution post was still Felix’s biggest fear. It was the true reason Felix had never tried running away. He couldn’t… he couldn’t end up there.

Felix didn’t realise he started crying again until his shoulders shook with a sob, his freezing hands burning with the heat of his tears.

But then a hand landed on Felix’s shoulder, spinning him around so violently he slipped on the ice. Felix landed on his knees, his legs immediately flinching against the cold ground and his hands tangling in the snow underneath him.

He tried to stand up, but two silver boots appeared in Felix’s vision, his head slowly lifting to see Changbin standing over him.

Felix could barely see him through the snow that was pelting down on them, but what he could see, what Felix could see very clearly, was that Changbin was _furious_.

Not angry. Not rage-filled.

_Furious._

Somehow finding out that Felix had been threatened into being his guard was the last straw for Changbin.

His voice shot through like air likes icicles sizzling against Felix’s skin.

“I’m going to go to my father about you,” Changbin spat, his almost red eyes piercing down at Felix, “I hope he finally goes through with whatever he threatened you with.”

Felix’s entire body flinched.

_I hope he finally goes through with whatever he threatened you with._

Felix felt a wave with the power of the ocean cascade over his chest, an entire snow-storm of devastation flooding into his mind. His mouth fell open, his hands shaking and his skin shivering as he started to see image after image after image of that goddamned execution post.

Changbin had… Changbin had just wished Felix’s father’s execution upon him.

Felix couldn’t move.

Changbin seemed to have realised that he’d said too much, the anger in his eyes having giving away slightly to what looked like shock at Felix’s trembling form. Felix didn’t say anything, too busy trying to stop the blind terror from drowning him.

A small gasp rang through the air as Changbin opened his mouth to say something, freezing when Felix flinched again. His hands flickered slightly, moving down towards Felix before they pulled away. Felix could only pray that Changbin wouldn’t touch him, that Changbin would go away.

That Changbin didn’t really want him to be executed.

But then Changbin took a step back, swallowing heavily as he nodded down to where Felix was still knelt on the ground.

“I’ll find a new guard for the night,” was all Changbin said, his voice sounding so tiny compared to what it was before, “Goodnight, Felix.”

With that, Changbin turned and walked away, Felix staring after his back with tears pooling in his eyes.

Felix was, once again, left alone and on his knees in the snow.


	4. Shivering Sobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changbin was never supposed to know.

_“You disgusting, disobedient, wretched little witch!”_

Felix barely even flinched at the shout, the words rolling right off him as he stared numbly into space, ignoring the fierce burning in his chest.

_“You’re lucky I even let you live! How dare you even think to flaunt your duties like this?”_

Felix blinked at the sound of a brutal slap hitting the table in front of him, his gaze seeing past the evil pair of eyes stabbing into him and out the window behind them. It had finally stopped snowing, the air hanging eerily with a visible chill.

_“You have to understand that I did you a favour by taking you in. You owe everything to this family! You owe us your life! You’re nothing without us, do you hear me?”_

Felix could, in fact, hear the king, but that didn’t mean he was listening. Felix was too busy staring at every spot that the king wasn’t in, too busy zoning in and out of the sounds of the unbearable shouting all around him, too busy trying to think of anything but the horrible words that were cutting him open and dissecting every inch of his grief like a sick surgeon with a cold butchers’ knife.

_“Listen to me!”_

That seemed to be the final straw for the king, Felix’s lack of response only causing the room to freeze harder as the king truly lost it.

Felix didn’t even realise that a hand had been raised to him until he was falling off the chair he’d been hanging limply from, clutching at his cheek that was now scorching a deep singe of pain.

His impact against the floor brought him back to reality, Felix looking down at the wooden floorboards of the king’s office and wishing he could be anywhere else in the world.

But Felix wasn’t going to get that lucky. He’d messed up. After his fight with Changbin, he didn’t show up to work for three days, practically paralysed by the suffocating distress that had started to drown him after all Changbin had said.

There was also a part of Felix that agonised in guilt over the way he’d treated Changbin over the years, but he refused to acknowledge that, not when he could barely breathe without feeling like he was going to tear apart.

Changbin had, apparently, also gone to the king about all the complaints he had about Felix and the king, as expected, had gone feral. He’d always been hunting for a reason to truly punish Felix and now he finally had one.

The king had waited for a few days, waited for a day he knew would have Felix truly strangling in the force of grief. He’d waited for the exact day of the anniversary of Felix’s father’s execution before he’d sent guards to kick down Felix’s door, pull him sobbing and struggling out his bed and drag him by his beautiful blond hair to the king’s office.

It had been an hour since Felix was thrown into the room, and the king had been screaming at him ever since.

But now Felix was on the floor, still reeling from the force of the slap that had sent him there. Apparently, Felix was actually supposed to be listening to the words being yelled at him.

What Felix could clearly hear was the cold, hard footsteps that echoed against the floor as the king approached, staring down at Felix like a predator would leer at their prey.

Felix felt a tiny star surrounded by treacherously hot suns that were trying to swallow him in their flames.

Felix was too cold to get close to the sun. Always too cold.

“You’ve no idea what I felt when my son came to me, telling me how terrible his knight was,” the king carried on speaking, leaning to kneel down in front of Felix, practically spitting the words on him, “You’ve no idea how much I wanted to kill you right there, how much I wanted to drag you to that execution post myself.”

Felix shivered so hard it rippled through his entire body, the king grabbing onto his shoulder and squeezing it to keep him still.

“Every day you should you wake up and thank me for the fact that you’re still alive,” the king said, every word sending ice through Felix’s veins, “You should forever be in debt to my son for letting you be his knight. You should worship the ground he walks on. You should want to serve him forever.”

Tears sprung to Felix’s eyes, his chest tightening at the thought of being stuck in the castle forever, at being forever at the king’s mercy, forced to obey for fear of ending up exactly like his father.

Felix choked around a sob. His father would be ashamed if he saw him now.

“Wretches like you don’t deserve to cry!” the king hissed, his hand coming down again to shove Felix’s head against the floor.

Felix whimpered, feeling so unlike the brave challenging knight he’d been barely days before. All it had taken was a sad song from Changbin and another few threats of execution and Felix was exactly the same boy who’d sobbed for hours in an empty town square, convinced he was going to die.

Felix didn’t know if he would ever escape from being that child. He didn’t know if he could ever truly run away. He didn’t know if he could ever stop the shivering.

“Stand up!” the king suddenly pulled away, leaving Felix huddled on the floor, “Stand up now, boy!”

Shaky legs tried to pull Felix to his feet, his brain begging him to comply whilst his body struggled to keep up. Felix hadn’t eaten in days, too nauseated by the idea of food, and the king’s words felt like endless punches weighing him down.

Eventually, the king seemed to get tired, huffing as he grabbed roughly onto Felix’s shoulder, tugging him harshly upright and shoving him back a few steps for good measure.

“You’re a lazy, good-for-nothing little brat!” the king continued to shout, “Please enlighten me as to why the hell I should keep you as a knight if you can’t even stand up properly.”

Panic erupted in Felix’s chest, his hair flicking upwards as his gaze snapped up to look at the king, his mouth dropping open.

The king… didn’t want Felix as a knight anymore.

What the hell would he do to Felix if he couldn’t be a knight?

Felix tried to speak, tried to defend himself, but the words got stuck in his throat, his mind blanking with so much raw terror that he froze.

The king scoffed, “I don’t know why I expected to be able to answer me.”

Felix let his gaze drop again, but flinched when a clawed hand caught his chin, forcing him to look back up. The king leaned right down to him, staring him face-to-face with a growl shaping his lips.

“You’re a disgusting little witch who is nothing but a burden to this kingdom,” the king spoke in a whisper, but the words were louder than any shout, all of them fraying at the edges with absolute cruelty, “This is exactly why I executed your father.”

Felix jolted so hard he dislodged the king from him, a deep pained breath being forced into his lungs.

He stumbled back, grabbing onto the king’s desk to keep himself upright, desperately trying not to collapse at the agony tearing through him.

But then truly the worst happened. Truly the worst, stupidest, dumbest, most preventable thing happened as Felix felt the flames of winter engulf him.

“You executed Felix’s father?”

The voice was shocked, but strong, and it echoed all around the office.

The voice was also, to Felix’s absolute horror, devastatingly familiar.

Both Felix and the king whipped around, jumping at the sight of Changbin stood in the open office doorway, his eyes flickering between them.

A storm erupted in Felix’s mind. He briefly registered his blond hair obscuring his vision as he doubled over, clutching desperately at his chest.

Changbin was never supposed to know.

_Changbin was never supposed to know._

After everything that had happened. After all the years of silence between them, after all the resentment, all the running away, the arguing in the snowstorm, the Felix screaming at Changbin, the Changbin leaving Felix in the snow.

Even after all of it, Changbin was never supposed to know.

Changbin was never supposed to know that his father had killed Felix’s father.

“Father,” Changbin’s voice echoed like a ghastly chill through the room, his feet taking him a single step in, “Is it true?”

The words were concise, stabbing like tiny daggers into the king. Felix looked up to see Changbin glaring at him, levelling his gaze so strongly that even the king seemed surprised.

Changbin had certainly inherited his father’s intimidation skills.

But, somehow, despite how terrified Felix was, he didn’t find himself scared of Changbin. Instead, he found himself terrified of what would the king would do now that his and Felix’s secret was out.

“Changbin, my son,” the king tried to placate, stepping towards Changbin with his arms out, “I don’t know what you heard, but-”

“I know exactly what I heard!” Changbin interrupted, his voice crackling through the air like thunder, “I know exactly what I heard and I’m asking you if it’s true. Tell me father, did you execute Felix’s father?”

Felix felt the words like a punch to the gut, the question hanging in the air like an executioner’s axe looming over their victim. Changbin and the king’s gazes sizzled between them, tingling with the energy of unbearable anger.

The axe came crashing down.

“Yes,” the king said firmly, refusing to back away from Changbin, “Yes, I did execute Felix’s father.”

There was just one tiny, microscopic second of silence.

One tiny second that settled on Felix’s skin like snow.

Changbin lunged forward and the snow charred away.

“How dare you?!” Changbin fisted his hands in the king’s collar, rage splattered like blood across his features, “Felix has been here all this time because you killed his father?! How young was he when you did that? How much were you intending to torture him when you forced him to work for me, the son of the one who killed his own dad?”

Changbin’s voice shredded at the seams, roaring through the office and jaggedly forcing its way into Felix’s ears. Felix tried to block it out, tried to force his palms against his eardrums, but the pain was tearing at the walls of his brain, forcing him to listen to his own demise playing out before him.

“You don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t execute!” the king was yelling back, desperately trying to get Changbin’s hands off him.

“You shouldn’t be executing _anyone_!” Changbin screamed, “Least of all not fathers of young boys! Felix was _so young_ when you brought him here! All these years he’s had a perfectly valid reason to hate me and everything to do with this place and I’ve just been shaming him for it!”

An entire tidal wave of guilt smacked Felix in the chest, his brain screaming with the fact that Changbin was _agreeing with him_.

Changbin, who’d endured years of silence from Felix, was actually siding with him.

Felix didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know how to react, didn’t know how to intervene, didn’t know what would happen now that Changbin knew about Felix’s past.

All Felix did know was that he needed to _get out_.

He didn’t care that he’d already run away before, he didn’t care that Changbin and his father were still screaming at each other. Felix just knew that he was about to start sobbing and he wanted to be far, far away when he did that.

Felix turned and sprinted out the door.

His footsteps pounded down the corridor, the walls rushing by him and the castle blurring around him. He could barely see where he was going through his tears, but it didn’t matter, Felix’s feet knew where to take him without having to look.

Felix was sprinting up a storm when he stumbled around a corner, running smack into Minho and feeling another crash of panic sizzle through him.

Minho caught him by the shoulders, his face morphing to worry and fear as he shouted something at Felix, Felix’s mind screaming too loud to hear him.

Hands scrambled after Felix when he pulled away, desperately trying to run again. Minho ran after him, but Felix was too panicked, too unstable for Minho to catch him.

Felix briefly registered Minho shouting “Hyunjin! Jeongin! Seungmin!” but he paid it no attention. They shouldn’t have to deal with his pain. Apart from Seungmin, they didn’t need to be more people who found out about Felix’s past.

Winter pierced Felix’s skin as he finally made it outside, his shoes slipping against ice and his hair flying back in the wind. Felix battled through it, refusing to shiver until he finally made it where he needed to be, until he was at the one place that was colder than any other spot on earth.

The execution post.

It was still, years later, stood tall in the tall square, only occasionally used but forever serving as a reminder to what happened to people who did wrong.

Felix wanted to throw up just looking at it.

Instead, he sat at its base, tears streaming down his face as he collapsed in the snow, thinking of his father.

Felix’s father didn’t have a grave. The victims of the king’s executions never did.

In some morbid way, Felix guessed he thought of the execution post as his father’s grave. It was the place his father had taken his final breath. It was the last place Felix had ever seen his father. Other than his hair, it was the only reminder Felix had left of him.

Felix didn’t have his home anymore. He didn’t have anything he used to own. All he had was the one spot he’d last seen his father and a prince who hated him. Or maybe a prince who didn’t hate him, Felix wasn’t too sure.

What Felix was sure of, however, was that everything would change now that Changbin knew about Felix’s father. Changbin would either get even more unbearably sympathetic or he’d find out that Felix’s father had been executed for practicing magic, and then he’d turn on Felix like everyone else did.

Either way, Felix didn’t know how he was going to bear it.

So, he didn’t bear it. He just let himself be the little scared kid again as he curled up in the snow and cried.

But then there were footsteps, urgent footsteps, and familiar voices calling to him from the real world that he didn’t want to be in.

“Felix!”

Felix pulled his face out the snow, turning towards the figure stumbling over to him. Felix hitched on a breath.

_Seungmin._

Seungmin was dashing towards him, looking far too cold and small in his servant’s uniform, his face pinched with worry. Behind him were Minho, Hyunjin and Jeongin, but Seungmin waved them back, casting one look at the execution post and knowing exactly what was going through Felix’s head.

One person had already found out about Felix’s past today, there didn’t need to be more.

Seungmin was panting by the time he made it to Felix, collapsing to his knees next to him and not even hesitating before he pulled Felix against his chest, immediately circling one hand around his waist and tangling the other in his long hair.

“Hey, penguin,” Seungmin whispered as Felix started sobbing in his chest, “It’s okay. You’re okay. I know what day it is today, but you’re okay, You’re here. You’re safe. It’s going to be okay.”

Seungmin’s voice was soothing, like he was singing, and he started gently rocking Felix back and forth, whispering into his hair the whole time that it was alright to cry, that Felix was going to be okay.

Despite how much his skin was screaming at him, Felix allowed the touch, his fists bunching in Seungmin’s shirt and his nose nuzzling against his collar bone.

Eventually, Felix’s cries gradually started to quieten, fading out into pathetic little sniffles that rocked through Felix’s chest and tickled his nose.

“Are you with me, penguin?” Seungmin soon said, carefully pulling Felix back to look at his face, “Do you need to get out the cold?”

Felix frantically shook his head, tightening his grip on Seungmin’s shirt.

“No, please, not yet,” he said, more tears forming at the suggestion, “Just… just let me stay with father a bit longer, okay?”

Seungmin smiled sadly, pulling Felix back into him, “Whatever you need, Lix.”

They stared like that for a few more minutes, Seungmin still rocking Felix and singing softly into his hair. Felix allowed the sensations to calm him, allowed the cold air to enter his lungs and chill through his body, grounding him back to the winter he was living in.

The execution post continued to loom over them, Felix staring at it with a deranged sense of attachment that almost made him start crying again.

But then suddenly a new voice was calling out, a few feet away but enough to make both Seungmin and Felix jump.

“Hey, guys!” the voice was hesitant, Felix managing to look over Seungmin’s shoulder to see Hyunjin waving at them, an uncertain look on his face, “The, um, the Second Prince is here and he kinda wants to see Felix.”

Felix’s reaction was instant, his entire body tensing so hard he could have snapped. Seungmin tightened his grip around him.

“No!” Seungmin said, looking round at Hyunjin, “No one else gets to see Felix right now.”

“Yeah, but I can’t exactly tell the prince that,” Hyunjin responded, his voice strained as he cast a worried glance down to Felix’s tear-stained face, “He’s being really insistent.”

“I don’t care,” Seungmin was quick to reply, his tone solid and face set in stone, “Tell the prince he has to wait. If he’s the caring prince that everyone claims he is, then he will be happy to do so.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, his mouth dropping open at the way Seungmin had spoken. It was during times like these that Felix was reminded that maybe Seungmin, despite his good behaviour, also harboured a little resentment towards the royal family for what had happened to Felix.

But Felix couldn’t let Seungmin stand up for him, not when Seungmin didn’t yet know about what had happened in the king’s office at the day.

Felix turned to look past Hyunjin, just able to make out a very tense Changbin stood arguing with Minho and Jeongin a few feet behind him. Jeongin and Minho looked very worried, clearly not liking what was going on with Felix and Changbin’s insistence to see him.

Felix felt his heart clench. He couldn’t let his friends fight for him. He couldn’t let them get hurt like he had.

“Minnie,” Felix whispered, placing his hand over Seungmin’s chest, “It’s okay.”

Seungmin turned back to look at him, a cold hand cupping Felix’s face, “No, Lix, it’s not okay! You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want-”

“Yes, I do,” Felix cut him off, trying to swallow against the lump in his throat as he fingers started to fiddle with Seungmin’s collar, “The Second Prince... Changbin… he found out about the king and my father.”

Felix’s voice cracked on the last few words, his throat hurting as Seungmin looked down at him in shock.

“W-What?” Seungmin was just able to stutter out, his grip tightening around Felix, “Prince Changbin knows about his father and your father?”

Felix forced himself to nod, looking at Seungmin through tears, “It’s why I ran out here. Changbin overheard the king yelling at me and he… he knows now. He confronted the king about it and everything.”

Seungmin let out a gasp, shock flittering over his features for a few moments before they hardened again, his thumb coming up to brush away Felix’s tears.

“But that still doesn’t mean you have to talk to him, Lix,” he said, “You don’t have to explain yourself and answer his questions. You don’t owe him any of that. You don’t have to do anythi-”

“I do,” Felix cut him off again, moving his hand so it cupped the side of Seungmin’s neck, “I don’t think I can run away from this anymore, Min.”

Seungmin’s face crumpled, his face coming down to bury itself in Felix’s hair, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Felix whispered to him, letting Seungmin hold him for a few more seconds before he pulled away.

Seungmin helped him to sit up properly, giving Felix a long look before he turned and beckoned at Changbin.

Changbin looked shocked, pointing at himself like he didn’t believe it as Seungmin just waved at him more aggressively. Changbin scrambled to comply, his feet crunching against the snow as he walked over.

Felix forced himself to take a deep breath, feeling the guilt flare up once more in his lungs.

All he had to do was talk to Changbin. He couldn’t be bitter with him anymore, or shut him out, or do any of the other things Felix was used to. Felix had to talk to him. Felix had to let Changbin make his own decision about the situation.

Because, as much as a part of Felix still couldn’t admit it, none of what had happened had ever been Changbin’s fault. And seeing Changbin stand up for him today had opened a wound in Felix he didn’t even know he had.

Changbin was silent as he settled in the snow next to them, his concerned eyes roaming all over Felix in a way that he had to resist squirming at.

Felix could only imagine that Changbin was looking at him in a whole new light now that he finally knew what happened.

“Lix,” Seungmin’s voice cut through the tension between them, prompting both of them to look at him, “Are you alright here?”

Felix managed a nod, quickly wiping away the last of his tears before waving at Seungmin. Seungmin squeezed his shoulder before he stood up, giving Felix a look to say that he’d be around if Felix needed him. Felix couldn’t resist giving him a small smile.

And then Seungmin turned and walked away, grabbing all the others and heading off with them, their footsteps echoing in the snow.

Felix and Changbin were left to sit in silence.

A few moments of awkwardness passed between them, Felix feeling increasingly uncomfortable as he watched Changbin fiddle with the snow. He averted his gaze to the ground, almost losing himself to his emotion again until Changbin cleared his throat from across from him.

Felix looked back at him, swallowing heavily when he realised that Changbin was staring straight at the execution post.

“Is this… is this where your father was executed?” Changbin asked quietly, “Is that why you ran here?”

Felix nodded, hardly daring to speak as Changbin made a pained noise.

He could feel the tension building up between them, all the years of silence and the arguing and the recent revelations gurgling between them and spilling over like lava out a volcano. The words left Felix before he’d even realised, barely even registering the inane need he felt to say them.

“I’m sorry!”

They both said it at the same time, both of them startling and staring at each other in shock as the apologies hit the air.

Felix stuttered, opening his mouth and closing it again, feeling far too overwhelmed as he gestured at Changbin to carry on.

“Go ahead,” Felix said, looking at Changbin hesitantly, “You can go first.”

Changbin nodded, pursing his lips as he looked at Felix. He seemed to contemplate for a minute, his face changing before he opened his mouth to speak again.

“I’m sorry I never knew,” Changbin said, his voice shaking slightly at the edges, Felix only just noticing how his shoulders were shivering with cold, “I’m sorry I blamed you for the fact we weren’t close when I never even knew what was really going on. I should have… I should have assumed something bad had happened when those guards dragged you in that night, shivering and crying and clearly too young to be working for me as a knight.”

Felix’s chest blazed, his heart soaring with relief whilst also sinking to his stomach. He hated that Changbin had taken the blame for himself, but part of him was also relieved that Changbin hadn’t blamed him.

“It was never your fault,” Felix said, averting his gaze as he pulled his knees up to his chest, tucking his chin on them, “I guess there was a part of me that always knew that you weren’t responsible for what your father did, and I was the one never took the time to tell you about it. Maybe I… maybe I should have trusted you from the start.”

“No, Felix,” Changbin was quick to say, Felix looking up in time to see Changbin shuffling towards him, “You never should have had to tell me. You were just a kid going through something I can’t even imagine. Your father had just been killed in front of you and you were forced to work for the son of his killer. I would probably have reacted even worse than you, I don’t think I even would have even been civil with myself if that were me.”

Felix’s heart stuttered, his skin started to tingle with what felt like… with what felt like hope.

Felix almost flinched. He hadn’t felt hope in years. He hadn’t felt anything akin to relief since he’d lost his father.

“Do you really mean that?” Felix couldn’t help but say, his voice small like a child’s.

Changbin looked heartbroken at the question, a second passing between them before he shuffled even closer to Felix, hesitating as he carefully reached out a hand to place over Felix’s knee.

Warmth bloomed under Felix’s skin at the touch, his entire body tingling with a feeling he couldn’t identify. He allowed Changbin’s hand to remain over him, to comfort him in a way that Changbin had never been able to do before.

“I mean it, Felix,” Changbin eventually said, squeezing Felix’s knee, “I don’t blame you for what has happened over these past few years. I don’t blame you for our argument a few days ago. I don’t blame you for any of it, not anymore. I can only thank you for being so civil all these years, and apologise for unknowingly making all this worse for you.”

Felix allowed his lips to pull up at the corners, a small smile forming on his face, “I accept your apology,” he said, placing his own shaking hand over the one Changbin had resting on him, “And I’m sorry I was never close with you like you wanted your guard to be. I guess a part of me always wanted you to have a guard you’re close to like Chan-hyung and Jisung have. But you… you know I could never leave here, right?”

Felix’s voice shook on the last few words, Changbin’s face falling as he squeezed Felix’s knee again.

“Yeah,” Changbin swallowed against the word, dragging a breath in through his nose, “I remember you saying. My father threatened you, didn’t he?”

“He did,” Felix said, his voice quiet, “He told me that he’d do to me what he did to my father, if I didn’t fall in line,” Felix gestured his head at the execution post looming over them, “He told me he’d put me up there.”

A harsh flinch jolted through Changbin’s whole body, so harsh that it rocked Felix’s knee with it.

Changbin turned away, bringing up a fist to his mouth as anger clouded dangerously over his features.

He didn’t speak for a few minutes, Felix staring worriedly at his back, almost longing Changbin’s warm touch against his knee back.

But then Changbin’s voice cut through the air, barely-constrained against what sounded like an avalanche of angry sobs threatening to overwhelm him.

“Felix,” he said, his back hunched over, “I am so, _so_ sorry.”

Felix was quick to shuffle forward, waiting a moment before he gently placed a hand on Changbin’s shoulder, resting his forehead against it as he leant on Changbin from behind.

“It’s not your fault,” Felix said, making sure to keep his voice level so Changbin would know he really meant it, “You are not your father. You are not his stupid words or his evil actions. In fact, I just heard you stand up to him, so I’m pretty sure that you are so much more than he is.”

Changbin whipped round to face him, Felix jumping back as he was dislodged from Changbin’s back. He pushed his fallen hair out his face, gasping at the tears resting on Changbin’s cheeks.

“I’ll stand up to him again,” Changbin didn’t hesitate to say, sounding so sure of himself, so ready to stand up for Felix, “I’ll stand up to my father again. Just say the word, Felix, I’ll punch him in the face for what he did to do you. Heck, I’ll kick him off his throne and make sure he never comes back. I’ll make sure he never hurts you again.”

Felix couldn’t help but smile, almost tempted to laugh as he reached out to tenderly wipe the tears off Changbin’s face.

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Felix said, small fingers brushing over Changbin’s icy-cold cheeks, “As tempting as it sounds, I think we’ve had enough hurt for one day.”

Changbin grabbed onto Felix’s wrist before he could pull away, lowering it so he could look in Felix’s eyes.

“Well, there must be something I can do,” Changbin said, squeezing Felix’s wrist, “Something I can do to make this up to you.”

Felix was about to tell Changbin that wasn’t necessary, that he’d had enough time thinking about the situation to last him a lifetime and he didn’t want the king to hate him even more. But then the smile formed back on Felix’s face, his hand shifting so he could tangle his fingers with Changbin’s.

“Just stay out here with me for a bit,” Felix said, looking up at Changbin, “Stay out here… with me and father.”

Changbin looked shocked for a second, wide eyes looking at the execution post and then back to Felix, seeming to not process the words properly.

But then Changbin smiled back, Felix feeling something bud in his chest at the softness on his face.

“Okay, Felix,” Changbin said, squeezing Felix’s hand, “I’ll stay with you.”


	5. Sunset eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was right, wasn’t I, Lix?” Seungmin whispered, something flickering in his half-asleep eyes, “You truly never know what’s going to happen in winter, do you?”

All the time Felix spent with Changbin after that day was hard, but not as hard as it had been.

The two of them were still _at least_ semi-awkward with each other for _at least_ 70% of the time they spent together, but somehow that was progress, and Felix couldn’t hear himself complaining about it.

Changbin had taken back all the comments he’d made to the king about Felix, and the king had been forced to accept there was nothing he could do except let Felix keep his position and wait for him to cause trouble again.

The king, of course, basically hated them both now. That wasn’t new to Felix, but was new to Changbin, and some of their most special moments were ones where Felix would silently squeeze Changbin’s hand whilst his father ranted and raved at them both.

But Felix didn’t know if he was proud or not to admit that he had been staying out of trouble recently, giving the king even less time to yell at them.

Felix had been devoting his time to trying to make for all his lost years with Changbin. It was a lot to get used to, but Felix always showed up to work on time now. Felix always made the effort to chat with Changbin whenever he was escorting him somewhere, even if it was awkward. And most importantly, Felix tried to do what Changbin had been affected by the hardest.

Felix tried to be Changbin’s friend.

It was tricky. There was still a lot of treacherous land between them, and a huge potential for landmines they could step on when dancing around each other for topics in conversation. But somehow they made it work, and Felix was starting to not believe that he’d managed to last so long without letting Changbin in.

There had been the morning when Felix had finished his night-shift and gone outside to train, finding himself in the middle of sparring with Minho when he suddenly noticed Changbin watching him at the window. Felix had been so surprised that he’d forgotten about the fight for a second and was absolutely floored to the ground by a cackling Minho.

Changbin had teased Felix a whole week for that one.

Then there was the snowball fight that had broken out between them during one of their walks from the dining room to Changbin’s bedroom.

Felix wasn’t ashamed to admit that he’d started it, or that he’d managed to lob a snowball square in Changbin’s face, but maybe he did have a little regret about not seeing Jisung exit the castle behind them.

Thankfully, Jisung found the whole thing hilarious, not hesitating to surprise Felix by pulling him into a hug and trying to rub off all the leftover snow on him. Hyunjin had practically collapsed in laughter, in tears by the time him and Jisung had to leave.

They’d complained about it since, but Felix hadn’t missed the beautiful kiss Hyunjin and Jisung had shared in the snow that day, so he knew they didn’t really mean it.

And then there were the nights.

The nights were a lot different now.

Felix no longer spent them slumped in the corner of Changbin’s room, desperately trying not to think about the prince sleeping nearby to him.

Now Felix sat right next to Changbin’s bed, the two of them talking until the sky was painted orange and sun filtered through the curtains.

They avoided as many painful topics as they could, instead sharing stories of their childhood that they’d never been close enough to tell before.

Felix hadn’t yet admitted to Changbin about his father’s magic, so instead he told stories of how him and his father would cook together every evening when Felix was just a boy, how they’d go sledding during snowy winters, how they only had a tiny cottage but Felix’s father still let child Felix run around to his heart’s content and then curl up in front of the fire at night-time.

Felix told Changbin about how they didn’t have a lot of money, but his father would still spend what they had buying Felix sweets from the market. About how Felix’s father learnt from the old lady next door how to braid hair and would spend hours carefully styling Felix’s blond locks into the prettiest plaits that Felix loved.

Changbin had practically lit up when Felix had told him that, his face bright in the dark bedroom as he’d promised to braid Felix’s hair one day. Felix had almost gushed at the idea.

And then there were the nights that Changbin talked.

Changbin talked about how he wished he’d had a normal childhood.

Changbin talked about having a distant father, a mother that just wanted him to be a prince and not a child, two brothers who he loved with all his heart but was never allowed to properly play with.

Changbin told Felix about how he wished he could have run around in a playground, sat in a classroom and messed around with other kids his age, snuggled into his parents’ laps after a long day of young fun.

Felix’s heart hurt for Changbin. Felix had his childhood ripped away, Changbin had never had his in the first place.

There was a tiny voice whispering in the back of Felix’s mind that if he did maybe get the courage to run away one day, then maybe he should take Changbin with him.

Maybe he should take Changbin to a playground, to a market, to a small loving place where they could both be kids again. Somewhere it was always summer.

Felix knew the idea was stupid, but he still told Changbin, and they dreamt about it together, playing a little game where they’d talk about all the things they’d take with them, what they’d find along the way, how beautiful the place would be that they ended up.

It was all wishful thinking, but Felix still yearned for it.

He was thinking about it one night when he was waiting on Changbin’s balcony.

It was just approaching midnight, the sky a deep cloudy black with gentle snowflakes landing on the balcony railing. The trees were completely bare, waving like bony hands in the wind, sending shivers through Felix that shook against his shoulders.

Seungmin and Jeongin were getting Changbin ready for bed in the room behind him, leaving Felix a rare few minutes to think in an even rarer moment of silence.

But then Felix heard the balcony door swing open behind him, and he could only assume his silence had finished.

Nothing could have prepared Felix for when he turned around to the sight of the First Prince Chan and the Third Prince Jisung stood on the balcony behind him.

Felix jumped about a foot in the air, letting out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak. He grabbed onto the balcony railing for support, leaping back like he’d been electrocuted when he felt a wet chill sizzle all the way up his arm.

Felix’s feet happened to land on a particularly gnarly piece of ice and with that he was going down, his eyes widening and arms flailing as his legs slipped out from under him.

Felix could only brace for impact, praying he wouldn’t get too soaked on the floor.

But then there was a warm pair of hands clamping around his shoulders, suspending Felix in mid-air as he blinked down at the ground he’d been about to smack into.

“Uh…” Felix said intelligently, feeling the hands squeeze his shoulders before they carefully hauled him back upwards.

Felix’s boots slipped slightly as he righted himself, but the hands kept him steady, the fingers gently massaging Felix’s shoulders.

“Are you okay?” a voice said, and Felix looked up in time to find himself face-to-face with First Prince Chan. He immediately blushed a deep red, unused to the soft face Chan was looking at him with.

But then a sudden snort echoed all over the balcony and Felix whipped round to see Changbin, Hyunjin, Minho, Seungmin and Jeongin all crowded in the balcony doorway, laughing like maniacal school children.

“Ha, you fell!” Jeongin burst out, pointing a finger at Felix and making everyone laugh even harder.

Felix face-palmed in half-amusement, half-embarrassment.

“Felix, you’re supposed to be a knight!” It was Minho this time, his face pulled into its signature chesire grin, “You’re supposed to be graceful!”

Felix just shook his head and waved him off, unconsciously leaning into the touch Chan still had on one of his shoulders, his thumb rubbing tiny circles into Felix’s jacket. Jisung was next to them both, evidently trying hard to keep in his own giggles.

“Hyung, don’t be mean!” Seungmin reached over to whack Minho, “It’s not our little Lixie’s fault, you know how much he hates winter.”

With that, the group laughed even harder, Felix feeling his face heat up when he locked eyes with Changbin. Changbin was staring at him with a huge smile on his face, his eyes lighting up.

“Little Lixie, huh?” he said slyly, looking directly at Felix as he said it, “Cute.”

Now _that_ was enough. Felix refused to acknowledge how his heart skipped a beat as he suddenly stomped forward and, without warning, grabbing hold of both the balcony curtains and slammed them shut. He then grabbed the door handle and banged the balcony door closed, cutting off all the sudden whines from the group watching behind.

Silence descended over the balcony once more.

The only thing Felix could hear was Chan and Jisung trying to hold in their laughter behind him, both their mouths muffled by the wind. Felix just rolled his eyes to himself, taking a second before he slowly turned around to face them.

“Um… I’m sorry about that,” Felix said, tucking a hand under his hair to rub the back of his neck, “You kinda surprised me a little bit.”

Jisung grinned, holding out a hand to gesture at Felix to come stand next to them by the balcony railing again, looking over the courtyard.

“It’s okay,” Jisung said, cheeks sticking out in a way that Felix may have once refused to admit was adorable, “I actually quite enjoyed that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you flustered before.”

Felix blushed, dropping his gazes at the giggles that broke out from Jisung. Chan spoke up from the other side of him, bumping his shoulder with Felix’s.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with anything but a scowl on your face,” Chan said, his voice light-hearted, but Felix couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten, his smile dropping at the words.

It was true. Felix had been so busy devoting his time to trying to make things right with Changbin that he hadn’t thought about the other two princes yet. Felix had never explicitly treated them badly, but he’d never tried to be nice to them either.

Felix was basically the reason all the princes and their knights weren’t amazing friends in a close-knit group together.

There was also a bit of shame in admitting that maybe Felix had become a little too good at being friendly and smiley with Hyunjin and Minho, but then switching effortlessly to a scowl whenever one of the princes looked in their direction.

“Yeah,” Felix eventually managed to say, casting a glance at Chan, “I’m sorry about that. I never meant to scowl to hurt you, and I…. I was never really justified in pushing you away like I did.”

“Felix, I think we both know that’s not true,” Chan said, his voice so soft, so low, so comforting compared to the usual princely air he was forced to speak with, “That’s actually why we came to speak to you today.”

Felix’s eyes widened, his gaze switching between Chan and Jisung, “What?”

Jisung took in a deep breath, shuffling closer to Felix as he held out a hand. Felix took it, surprised at how warm it was.

“Changbin-hyung told us,” Jisung said softly, “About what happened to your father.”

The chill in the air seemed to sharpen. Felix felt his whole body go rigid. He dropped his gaze, dragging cold air into his lungs to try and ground himself.

He’d known that they were approaching the day that Chan and Jisung would find out. The secret had been slowly trickling out ever since Changbin had heard it, and Felix knew it would eventually reach the other sons of the king, he just didn’t think that they’d ever want to talk to him about it.

“I’m sorry,” Felix could only say, his words feeling like they were strangling him, “You were never supposed to know about that.”

“No, Felix, don’t be sorry,” Jisung squeezed Felix’s hand, tugging on it to get Felix to look at him.

There was a look of sadness in Jisung’s eyes, a look of such intense remorse that Felix felt his heart stutter.

“We’re the ones who should be sorry,” Jisung carried on, “We always just assumed you were being stubborn and bratty when you refused to be friends with us, but we were being so stupid. We should have known there was something wrong when we knew you were forced into your job at such a young age.”

“You weren’t being stupid,” Felix frantically shook his head, “I mean you both had knights that you fell in love with, whilst I could barely even look at your brother. I can’t blame you for judging me for that. What else were you supposed to think?”

“We were supposed to be better,” Chan spoke this time, and Felix blinked as he turned to face him, “We never should have blamed you, Felix, not when there was so obviously something else that was going on.”

“And I hope you know,” Jisung carried on, “That we don’t blame you now. Now that we know what really happened, we don’t blame you at all. You were completely justified in everything you did.”

“But you guys were also kids at the time,” Felix couldn’t help but argue, his voice unbearably small, “I never should have taken it out on you. I always knew it was never your fault. I was just too stubborn and stuck-up to admit it.”

“You were never stubborn and stuck-up,” Chan said, his voice hard this time, his hand finding its way back onto Felix’s shoulder, “You had to watch your father get executed and then were forced to work for the son of his killer. And you were so young at the time. All things considered, you handled it so well.”

The words settled softly over Felix’s heart, an unsteady breath knotting its way between his lips. Felix couldn’t help but look between the two princes, his entire body tingling with something that wasn’t hope, but something else.

Something like forgiveness.

Felix gasped, squeezing even tighter to Jisung’s hand. _Was he being forgiven?_

“Thank you so much, guys,” Felix managed to say around the lump in his throat, blinking away tears, “I hope… I hope that maybe we can be friends now.”

Jisung’s face lit up, chubby cheeks sticking out as he started shaking his and Felix’s hands between them, squealing like a baby.

“I think Jisung’s trying to say that we’d love to be your friend,” Chan grinned, winking at Felix, “We’ve certainly got a lot to catch up on.”

Felix blushed, nodding at Chan with a smile. He felt excitement bud in his chest, excitement to finally get to know Chan and Jisung, to finally maybe start repairing his relationships and fixing his problems in the castle.

Felix knew he couldn’t fix everything. He couldn’t change the past. But maybe he could try and find summer again, make some new friends to chase away the chill, get closer to the prince who was slowly working his way into Felix’s heart.

“One thing we definitely have to catch up on,” Jisung’s voice broke Felix out of his thoughts, his shoulder bumping Felix’s as he leaned in real close, “How do you feel about our brother?”

Jisung’s eyebrows wiggled as he spoke, Felix spluttering so hard he pushed Jisung back with the force of it.

“Don’t be cheeky,” Felix rolled his eyes at him, “That can’t be the first thing you want to get to know about me.”

“I was just merely curious,” Jisung shrugged, a large grin still spread over his face, “Now answer the question.”

Felix shook his head, turning back to look over the balcony as he contemplated the question.

“I don’t know,” Felix eventually said, pushing some hair out his face, “Changbin-hyung is obviously great and I regret not being friends with him sooner. But there’s still history between us, you know? There’s still… still things I haven’t told him.”

Felix’s voice trailed off towards the end, his eyes glazing over. He thought of how different him and Changbin were from each other, how they’d led virtually opposite lives, how Felix was terrified that one day Changbin would wake up and see Felix exactly the way the king did.

_Useless, disgusting little witch._

There were still voices murmuring in Felix’s head that he hadn’t told Changbin about his father’s magic, that when Changbin found out he would freak and want to execute Felix just as the king did.

Felix knew that the voices were probably incorrect, that Changbin would never intentionally wish that upon him, but that didn’t make the voices stop. It didn’t make Felix feel any braver.

But then the voices were joined by Seungmin’s voice, telling Felix that winter was the season of unpredictability, that anything could happen.

_Winter is the season of change. You never really know what’s going to happen._

Felix supposed that could be a good thing. He certainly hadn’t known that his recent friendship with Changbin was going to happen. But it could also be a bad thing, the friendship could turn around and pull Felix back into the cold, could throw him down onto the ice and raise him up onto the execution post.

Not knowing what was going to happen could be fun, but it could also be incredibly dangerous. And Felix had been let down enough to know not to get his hopes up anymore.

Changbin didn’t need to know about the magic. No one did.

Felix was safer that way.

But then Chan shuffled closer to him, his arm touching Felix’s, sending little sparks of warmth up through his skin.

“Felix,” Chan said, his voice more solemn as Felix turned to look at him, “We know there’s something you haven’t told Changbin. We, um, kinda found out something about you by accident.”

Felix furrowed his brows, a nasty feeling starting to stir in his stomach, “What?”

Chan swallowed, turning away a second before he looked at Felix again, his eyes seeming almost… pleading?

“When we found out what happened to your father, we decided to see if we could find out the details of his execution,” Chan said quietly, Felix feeling his chest tighten at the words, “We know you lost everything you owned that day, we wanted to see if we could track down some of your old stuff and give it to you.”

Something in Felix’s stomach dropped, his mouth falling open. His eyes started to bristle with tears, Chan staring at him sympathetically as Felix tried to process the words.

Chan and Jisung had tried to track down his old stuff for him?

The thought sent a million emotions spiralling through Felix’s mind, gratefulness being the most prevalent one. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Chan and Jisung wouldn’t have been successful. Everything Felix used to own was long gone, but the fact that Chan and Jisung had even tried made Felix feel like the most special person in the world.

But then Felix looked up at them, realising that they still looked worried, that they clearly had more to say.

“Thank you,” Felix said to them, quickly wiping his eyes, “Wh-what did you want to tell me about?”

Chan pursed his lips, taking another deep breath before he opened his mouth.

“We accidentally found out why your father was executed,” Chan said, “We know that he practiced magic. The record of the execution had him labelled as a witch.”

Felix’s heart dropped.

He looked away, feeling dread settle like a pit in his stomach. Like what happened to his father, Felix hadn’t wanted anyone to know. Felix hadn’t wanted to risk getting hated all over again for his connection to magic.

But it seemed Felix’s secrets had a habit of going walkabout these days, because now he was on a balcony with Chan and Jisung, feeling his eyes staring into him as they confessed that they knew all about it.

Felix was tempted to vault his way over the balcony railing and sprint off, but he knew he wouldn’t get very far, and that it was possibly a bit overdramatic.

Felix also knew he had spent too long running away. He was trying to be better now.

“I’m sorry,” he said, refusing to look up at Chan and Jisung, “I guess I never should have hidden that from you.”

“Please don’t be sorry,” Jisung was quick to say, stepping closer so he could carefully place his fingertips under Felix’s chin, gently pulling his gaze up, “It doesn’t change anything, Felix.”

Felix refused to listen, shaking his head frantically, “No, you hate magic. Your family has always hated magic. My father was killed for his magic.”

“Your father was killed _wrongfully_ ,” Jisung didn’t even hesitate as he said the words, staring straight into Felix’s eyes, “The king is the only one of us who hates magic, and he’s _wrong_. We know your father wasn’t evil, we know he didn’t deserve what happened to him, and we will never, ever hate you for it, okay Felix?”

Felix felt the words hit him like a brick, his mouth choking on a sob before he could even think to respond. Jisung was quick to pull him into his chest, Chan’s hand finding its way into rubbing circles on Felix’s back.

Felix’s body naturally melted into the embrace, years’ worth of terror starting to fade away.

“Changbin doesn’t care about magic either,” Chan said, his hand warm against Felix’s back, “We don’t want you to feel like you have to keep this from him.”

“We actually think you should tell him,” Jisung carried on, pulling Felix back to look at him, “He won’t judge you or hate you for it. He’d probably actually be really impressed.”

“And really curious,” Chan said, making Felix smile, “And he’ll ask you a load of questions and get really annoying and then you probably will actually regret telling him.”

“But our point is,” Jisung said, taping Felix on the cheek, “The magic doesn’t change anything. In fact, it may actually bring you closer to Binnie-hyung.”

Felix smiled as he pulled away, letting Jisung squeeze his hand one last time.

“Thank you so much,” he said, looking up at them and smiling at the way the night stars reflected off their skin, “I hope this means we can keep getting closer, that we can put the last few years behind us.”

“Of course, we can,” Chan nodded like an excited little kid, his hair flopping like a puppy’s. Felix couldn’t help but be endeared, knowing Minho would absolutely lose it if he could see Chan through the balcony curtain.

“You’re finally going to complete our little circle of friends,” Jisung said, his voice light, but carrying an undertone of earnest that made something blossom in Felix’s chest. He nodded back at Jisung, feeling that maybe, just maybe, the winter was starting to feel a little bit less cold.

Chan and Jisung both gave Felix another hug before they headed inside, bidding warm goodnights to one another.

They went back inside to the sight of Seungmin and Jeongin tangled in Changbin’s armchair together, half-asleep with Jeongin stroking Seungmin’s hair like he was a puppy.

Changbin, Minho and Hyunjin were all piled on the bed, seemingly all grumbling about how they’d lost their princes/knights. Felix snorted at them, only laughing harder when all their heads whipped up to look at him with identical pouts.

With that, Minho and Hyunjin pulled themselves off the bed, both ruffling Felix’s hair before they grabbed their respective princes and swept off with them, Hyunjin carrying Jisung on his back whilst Minho insisted on trying to carry Chan bridal-style, only to walk into the door and bring them both to the ground.

Felix wasted another five minutes of the evening picking them both up.

Then Jeongin and Seungmin sleepily zombie-walked out together, Seungmin tapping Felix’s shoulder on the way past.

“I was right, wasn’t I, Lix?” Seungmin whispered, something flickering in his half-asleep eyes, “You truly never know what’s going to happen in winter, do you?”

Felix just smiled back at him, pushing Seungmin out the room with a scoff as Jeongin just giggled at them both, soon whining about needing to get to bed.

Felix shut the door after them, standing peacefully in the silence for a second before he turned to look at Changbin who was outwardly scrutinising him from the bed.

Felix furrowed a brow at him, “What is it, prince?”

Changbin just scrutinised him further, his head tilted and eyes narrowed. The sight was comical, Changbin looking like a little kid trying to look thoughtful for his teacher as Felix had to resist laughing at him.

Eventually, Changbin spoke, gesturing Felix to sit by the bed.

“What were you talking to my brothers about?” Changbin asked, his voice half-suspicious, half-amused.

“We were discussing how annoying you are,” Felix said, settling in the chair by Changbin’s bed and putting his feet up on the mattress.

Changbin immediately shoved the feet away, barking out a _take your shoes off!!_ before he went back to scrutinising Felix again.

“Alright, alright,” Felix toed his shoes off, “Princes Chan-hyung and Jisung just wanted to bring up that they knew about what the king did to my father and try to settle things between us. We had some apologies and some hugs, it was nice.”

Changbin smiled, looking relieved at the answer, “I’m glad you got to do that,” he said, before switching his smile to a glare, “Although, I hope there were no apologies from you, because I’ve already told you a million times that you don’t have to apologise and I’m your prince so you have to listen to me.”

Felix just smirked, “Since when have I listened to a single word any of you princes say?”

Changbin tilted his head, a smile playing against his lips, “Okay, I’ll give you that one, but I’m serious. I’m glad you got to chat to my brothers, I hope it’s one chat of many.”

“Yeah, me too,” Felix said, allowing the nice thought to wash over him as he looked down to his lap, starting to fiddle with his fingers.

Felix thought back to what Chan and Jisung had said, to the way they’d promised Changbin that would be accepting of Felix’s past with magic. Felix chose to believe them, deciding to somehow work up the courage to tell Changbin about it.

He’d decided that it wouldn’t be that night, that he wanted one last night of peace before he did it. But Felix couldn’t help but notice that there was a part of him that was actually excited. Felix had never once shared the magical side of him with anyone before. His heart was already starting race at the idea.

After a few more minutes of contemplating it, Felix looked back up at the bed, smiling at the sight of Changbin slumped over fast asleep.

Felix quietly got up from his chair, reaching out to carefully angle Changbin so he wouldn’t sleep in a position that would hurt his neck. Felix then pulled the blankets over Changbin’s chest, tucking them under his chin to keep him warm.

“Goodnight, my prince,” Felix whispered, moving his hand up to tenderly brush Changbin’s hair away from his face, “I’ll protect you tonight, and every other night after this.”


	6. Snowy lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How could I hate something that made you so beautiful?” Changbin said, his voice a mere whisper, but Felix heard it like it a firework exploding above them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is my favourite <3

The next night came with its usual brutal chill in the air.

It was just after dinner, with a crescent Moon hanging heavily in the sky and most of the stars obscured by clouds. The snow had stopped for the time being, leaving an endless blanket of white settled on the ground, already matted with the footsteps of the kingdom going about their day.

But the streets were empty now, everyone huddled in their homes with fires crackling and blankets tight around them. Nights were so cold during winter that no one could bear to be outside.

No one except Changbin and Felix.

They’d ‘gotten lost’ on their way back from dinner, so lost that they’d ended up walking out the castle gates and finding their way onto the street usually used for the kingdom markets.

It was like a ghost town now, with the fountain frozen in the centre and the cobbled streets lined with ice. Various lampposts dotted the street, some shining faintly with an addictive orange flame whilst others didn’t even bother to light up, too intimidated by the pure white moonlight that enchanted the place.

Felix and Changbin’s footsteps crunched against the floor, the two of them walking silently with their hands clasped between them. Neither of them could pinpoint the exact reason they’d gone walkabout that night, but something about it seemed right, something seemed to have shifted for them.

Felix didn’t know if it was him finally talking to Chan and Jisung, or the weeks him and Changbin had been able to bond, or because of Felix’s decision to finally tell Changbin everything about his past, but something seemed different between them. It somehow felt like the last wall between them was about to finally be torn down, leaving them not as a prince and a knight but as two humans tangled in their dreams and in each other.

There was part of Felix that was terrified of the way he was starting to feel about Changbin, but there was another part of him that felt alive, more alive than Felix had felt in years.

Changbin had awakened something in Felix, something Felix had previously thought had died with his father. Felix didn’t know what it was, but he wanted more.

So, Felix squeezed Changbin’s hand as they walked, pulling him to a stop whilst they were stood in the middle of what was usually an extremely busy road.

“Prince,” Felix said as he stopped them, carefully reaching out for Changbin’s other hand and pulling him so they were face-to-face, “How are you enjoying your tour of outside the castle?”

Changbin rolled his eyes, “You know I’ve been outside the castle before, right?” he said playfully, “This street is always so busy, it’s one of the best places to come when visiting the kingdom.”

“But I bet you’ve never seen it at this time,” Felix said, looking away from Changbin to stare down the street they’d walked from, the endless windy road with its uneven path and remnants of children’s melted snowmen littered on the ground, “It looks different at night, right?”

Changbin took a second to answer, his own gaze drifting to look behind them. He pursed his lips, the moonlight reflected perfectly in his eyes.

“It does,” he said, “This place seems so much… calmer. If I hadn’t been down this road during the day, I wouldn’t have known there were even people living here.”

“Yeah,” Felix said, letting the moment hang in the air for a few seconds before he dragged in a breath, prompting Changbin to look at him.

Changbin furrowed his brow in concern, pulling Felix so they could stand under the light of a nearby streetlight and Changbin could see him properly.

“Felix?” Changbin said softly, seeming to notice the sudden apprehension on Felix’s face, “Are you okay?”

Felix nodded, looking away for a second to gather himself. He ran his words through his mind, deciding that now, on a quiet peaceful night, with Changbin staring at him like he was his very own star, was a good time for Felix to finally tell Changbin about his father.

_Winter is the season of change._

Chan and Jisung’s voices rang through Felix’s mind, telling him that Changbin would be accepting, that Changbin would be nice, that Changbin wasn’t the evil man that the king was.

_You never really know what’s going to happen._

Felix swallowed.

“My prince,” Felix managed to work up the courage to say, looking down at his and Changbin’s hands clasped between them, “You know my father and I used to come to this street all the time at night?”

Changbin’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, questions seeming to appear on his face. He was probably wondering why the hell a father would take a young boy out alone to an abandoned street in the middle of a winter night, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Felix answered, curling his lips awkwardly around the word, “This place at night, it’s really good for… it’s really good for secrets.”

Changbin’s head tilted, his eyes narrowing, “Felix, what are you talking about?”

Felix took a deep breath, “There’s something I haven’t told you,” he said, casting a brief glance up at Changbin and admiring his face in the light of the streetlight, “After everything that you found out recently and us managing to become friends, I never told you the true reason my father was executed.”

Changbin’s face lit up with realisation, his feet shuffling forward slightly so he could be closer to Felix, craning his neck so he could meet Felix’s dropped gaze.

“Felix, it’s okay,” he said, smiling a gentle smile, “I never wanted to pressure you into telling me that, and I never wanted you to think I’d judge you for it either. If you say your father was a good man who didn’t deserve what happened to him, then I believe you.”

The words admittedly brought an avalanche of relief raining over Felix, his eyes closing so he could handle the way his heart stuttered. Changbin had sounded so gentle, so understanding, that for a second Felix had wondered if he really deserved it.

“Thank you, prince,” Felix managed to smile back at him, rubbing his thumbs over the back of Changbin’s hands, “I really appreciate you saying that, I really do. But I think I’m ready to tell you, if you’ll let me.”

Changbin squeezed Felix hands, “Of course.”

Felix looked up at him, staring straight into his eyes, feeling his heart jump into his throat as he spoke, “My father was executed for practicing magic.”

A look of shock passed over Changbin’s face, one that was replaced by an expression of absolute horror in the space of a few seconds. Felix tensed, expecting the worse, but then Changbin dropped Felix’s hands to wrap his arms around his shoulders, pulling Felix into a firm hug.

“Oh, Lix,” Changbin said into his ear, holding Felix close, “I’m so sorry.”

Felix leant into the touch, feeling his heart calm at Changbin’s warmth enveloping him, “You’re not… disgusted?”

Changbin pulled away, shifting so that his hands cupped Felix’s face, fingers dancing gently over his cheeks.

The touch felt like lightning against Felix’s skin.

“Felix, I can promise you that I will never, _ever_ be disgusted by that,” Changbin said firmly, staring straight into Felix’s eyes, “Why would I even be disgusted by magic? I find it so beautiful.”

Felix’s eyes widened, Changbin giggling as his mouth dropped open. He moved his hands off Felix’s face, letting them fall back down to his sides.

“You find magic beautiful?” Felix couldn’t help but ask, “But your father hates it so much. He says it’s evil.”

“And yet he was the one evil enough to kill your father,” Changbin said bluntly, so bluntly that Felix flinched.

Felix couldn’t help the reaction, regretting it immediately after he’d done it. But Changbin was quickly scrambling to hold his hands again, tangling their fingers together to reassure Felix.

“I’m sorry, that was blunt,” Changbin said, pausing to let Felix nod before he carried on, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think magic is evil, even if the person using it is evil. Magic in the right hands is possibly the most wonderful thing to exist.”

Something started to bloom in Felix’s chest at that, his lips pulling up at the corners, but there was one last thing he needed to check, one last thing before he could really be relieved.

“Even magic that goes wrong?” Felix said, needing to know that once Changbin really did find out everything about Felix, he wouldn’t be disgusted, “Do you think that’s wonderful?”

Changbin furrowed a brow, looking suddenly adorable as he stared at Felix in confusion, “Magic goes wrong?”

“Yeah, there’s a spell that went wrong when I was a baby,” Felix said, unable to resist suddenly smiling at the way Changbin was hanging onto his every word like a curious child, “My father was trying to cast a protection spell on me, but he messed something up and all my hair fell out. When it grew back, it was this blond. It’s been like that ever since.”

Changbin’s eyes widened, his mouth falling open in a wondered gasp. His gaze flew to Felix’s hair, raking over the blond locks that stayed in their usual side-mullet on Felix’s head. The ends of it just about reached the shoulder of Felix’s left side, every single hair unbelievably healthy and blissfully bright.

Changbin raised a hand, looking to Felix for permission before he very carefully reached out to thread his fingers in some of Felix’s locks. Something in Felix’s skin tingled at the contact.

“How could I hate something that made you so beautiful?” Changbin said, his voice a mere whisper, but Felix heard it like it a firework exploding above them. He felt the air leave his chest, getting replaced by such an overwhelming feeling that he could only gape at Changbin.

Had Changbin really just said that?

Did Changbin find Felix… _beautiful?_

Changbin seemed to not even notice what he said, his eyes still delicately tracing over every strand of hair on Felix’s head. His fingers were still tangled in the locks, running through them like little flakes of snow fizzling through the air.

Felix just revelled in the feeling, hoping Changbin wouldn’t notice how his heart was pounding like crazy in his chest.

Eventually, Changbin’s fingers started to slow, Felix’s breaths falling like whispers out his lips. They were a lot closer together now, with the winter chilling around them and sending goosebumps rippling up Felix’s skin.

Felix shivered for a second, his body jolting, and Changbin’s eyes flitted to meet his, a pout forming adorably on his lips.

He moved his hand out Felix’s hair, shifting it so that it cupped his cheek, his warm thumb tracing delicately over the skin.

Felix had to hold back a gasp, his skin shimmering like snowflakes at the feeling.

Changbin’s eyes stayed on his the whole time, staring at him like he was the only light on a dark winter’s night.

In a way, Felix was.

But then Changbin opened his mouth, his thumb still tracing Felix’s cheeks as he spoke.

“Can I ask you something?” Changbin said, his voice almost hesitant, “About your past?”

Felix furrowed a brow, wondering how awful the question could be to make Changbin so nervous. Felix nodded despite himself, not able to say no with Changbin still staring so softly into his eyes and holding his face so delicately.

“You said your father practiced magic?” Changbin started, and Felix nodded, watching as Changbin took a breath before carrying on, “Felix, did your father ever teach you? Did you know magic too?”

A small bud of relief bloomed in Felix’s chest at the question, his face pulling into a smile. He placed a hand over the one Changbin had cupping his face, rubbing his thumb over Changbin’s knuckles.

“I did,” Felix said, thinking back to all the fun he used to have with his father, “My father and I used to practice spells together all the time. We brewed potions and learnt to do magic with our hands and cast charms all over the house. It was beautiful, like growing up in a fairytale.”

The memories made Felix smile some more, his face warming under Changbin’s touch. Changbin was looking at him like he’d hung the stars, his mouth open and eyes wide and curious like a child’s.

Felix couldn’t help but giggle at him.

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Changbin borderline squealed, pulling his hand off Felix’s face to cup his own in shock, “I can’t… I can’t believe you know magic.”

Felix smiled at him, “Well, I guess it is a neat party trick.”

“Party trick?!” Changbin looked at Felix like he was insane, making him laugh again, “That’s more than a party trick! That’s actually insane, it must have been so incredible being a kid and getting to do that.”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool,” Felix couldn’t back a grin, a grin that soon dropped when he thought back to how long ago that was, “I haven’t been able to do magic in so long, though. I’ve probably lost it all.”

The thought filled Felix with more sadness than he was willing to let himself feel, his skin tightening uncomfortably. He thought back to everything his father used to tell him, all the gentle ministrations as he repeatedly told Felix to be careful when handling magic and congratulating him when he got it right.

Felix’s father was always so encouraging, always so proud, always so ready to teach Felix everything and anything about the magic world. Felix had hung onto his every word, forever enamoured by the wonders of what his father told him.

But there was always the lesson at the end, always Felix’s father tilting Felix’s chin to look up at him, his eyes drained of their sparkles and filled with something serious.

_Make sure you never tell anyone about your magic, Felix_

His father would say.

_Not everyone will understand._

A lump formed in Felix’s throat. If only Felix had known back then just how right his father had been. Maybe it would have been better to never have the magic, not when it hurt so much being taken away.

But then Felix frowned, forcing himself to shake the thoughts away. He’d never change the magical years he had with his father, not for anything, not even after everything that happened.

“Felix?”

Felix jumped, pulled out his thoughts like an ice bucket being poured all over him. His gaze moved sharply, locking on to the one who had spoken.

Changbin blinked worriedly at Felix, taking a tentative step forward to close the distance between them.

“Are you okay?” Changbin said softly, reaching forward to curl his fingers around Felix’s wrist.

“I’m okay,” Felix forced himself to nod, wincing at the way his voice shook, “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Don’t apologise,” Changbin smiled sympathetically at him, “I should be the one apologising. I’m sorry for bringing this all up, it must be painful for you.”

Felix shifted his wrist so he could take Changbin’s hand, squeezing tightly to his fingers.

“It’s not painful,” Felix said, staring down at their joined hands, “I mean, yeah, it hurts that I don’t have it anymore. But it’s nice to think about it sometimes. It’s nice to actually be able to talk to someone about it.”

“That’s good,” Changbin said, his voice carrying gently in the cold air, “I hope you know that I’m always here if you want to talk about this stuff.”

“I know,” Felix said without hesitation, knowing he really did mean it, “And I wanted to thank you for being so accepting of all this. For not running away when you realised how messed up this whole situation is. For… for actually trying to be my friend despite the way I treated you for so long.”

“Oh, Felix,” Changbin squeezed tightly to Felix’s hand, staring straight into his eyes as he stepped forward so they were chest-to-chest, “Please don’t thank me for any of that. I’m just sorry this all took so long, and I’m so thankful to _you_ for being so strong all these years. I don’t think we would have ever gotten to this point if you weren’t so brave.”

Felix had to hold back a gasp.

_Brave_ wasn’t something he’d associated himself with in so long, wasn’t something he thought he could ever be again. Felix had no room for bravery in his frozen, shaking heart.

But now the Second Prince was stood in front of Felix telling him he was, his voice soft like cotton, his body hot against Felix’s keeping him warm and chasing away the winter chill.

Maybe… maybe Felix did feel a little brave.

He admittedly didn’t think he’d make it this far.

Changbin seemed to follow Felix’s thoughts, his lips pulling up gently as he smiled at Felix. He took a step back, looking at him with what almost seemed like another question in his eyes.

Felix quirked a brow, tilting his head at him, “Something on your mind, prince?”

Changbin bit his lip for a couple of seconds, his once-styled hair now flopping in front of his face and curling against his forehead.

Felix’s fingers tingled with the need to reach out and brush it away.

But then Changbin opened his mouth, speaking with the orange reflection of the streetlight flickering in his eyes.

“Felix,” Changbin said, his gaze almost nervous as he looked at Felix, “Do you think you can still do magic?”

The question made Felix’s eyes widen, his heart stopping in his chest. He felt the words puncture his lungs, causing his mind to blank and his breath to stop.

Could Felix… still do magic?

Felix’s immediate reaction was to deny it. He couldn’t do magic anymore. It had been so long since Felix had done any of that, he didn’t think he even knew how anymore.

Besides, that part of Felix had died now, leaving a deep hole of emptiness to rot inside him.

But… magic never really died. Felix knew that. Felix knew that the magic in his father would still be living even if his father wasn’t. There was probably a part of Felix that could still do magic.

_No._ Felix shook his head violently, refusing to believe it. He wasn’t strong like that anymore. He wasn’t good.

“No,” Felix quickly said, tearing his gaze away, “It’s been so long since I’ve done any kind of magic, and I’m not the fairytale-believing kid I was back then. There’s no way I can do it anymore.”

His voice was sharp, spindling with needles, but still dripping with the incessant sadness Felix could feel gnawing inside him. He closed his eyes, trying not to think about how ashamed Felix’s father would be at him for saying that.

“But Felix,” Changbin’s voice was somehow louder than his thoughts, his hands trying to pull Felix’s gaze back, “I don’t know a lot about magic, but I know it’s not something you can lose. You must still be able to do it. It’s okay if you do.”

“No, it’s not okay!” Felix couldn’t help but yell, looking back to Changbin so sharply he was surprised his neck didn’t crack.

Changbin’s eyes widened in disbelief, staring at Felix like he didn’t know what the hell he was yelling for. Felix felt his heart drop, his chest filling with pain when he realised he was taking his darkness out on Changbin.

“I’m sorry,” Felix said, lowering his voice and dropping his gaze, “I just… you can’t just say that this stuff is okay. You can’t say the possibility of me still having magic is okay, not when my father was literally killed for that.”

The words travelled out Felix’s mouth like knives in his chest, his skin crawling with what Felix now realised was terror.

Felix was terrified. Felix was terrified to discover the magic inside him again. Felix was terrified it wouldn’t be there anymore. Felix was terrified he’d lose more because the most beautiful thing he had ever learnt made people hate him.

Felix was also terrified he’d end up exactly how his father did.

Oh, how his father would be ashamed of him now.

But then two soft fingers ghosted over Felix’s chin, as cold as ice as they carefully tilted Felix’s face up, making him meet a warm, fiery gaze.

“You don’t need to be scared, Felix,” Changbin whispered, his voice somehow strong, somehow firm, somehow so goddamn comforting to Felix’s frozen ears, “No one’s going to hurt you for your magic. And, most importantly, you aren’t going to hurt yourself.”

A sob bubbled up Felix’s chest before he could stop it, exploding out him like lightning. He felt a tear trickle its way down his face, wiped away by Changbin’s tender fingers.

“But what if I can’t do it anymore?” Felix couldn’t help but say, his voice shredding at the seams, “What if I’m not magical anymore? What if I’m not good enough for that?”

“Felix, you are far too good for that,” Changbin didn’t hesitate even for a moment as he spoke, gripping tighter to Felix’s face, “You still have the magic inside you. I know you do. I’m so goddamn sure you do. I knew since the moment I met you.”

Felix blinked in surprise, his chest stuttering at the words.

“How the hell could you say that?” Felix said, his eyes searching Changbin’s face like he would somehow have all the answers, “How the hell could you say anything good about me when I was only ever mean to you? When I judged you harshly for something you didn’t do and cast you out for it? How could you ever think good of me?”

“You were never mean to me,” Changbin smiled softly, swiping away another one of Felix’s tears, “You still protected me all those years. You were still my knight. You still caught me when I fell and took my punches for me and did everything you could to make sure I didn’t get hurt. You always had this concerned look in your eyes, one that made me feel safe even if you didn’t know it was there.”

Felix’s breath caught in his throat.

A sweeping feeling flooded through him like ice.

“You _are_ magic, Felix,” Changbin carried on, staring deep into Felix’s eyes, “You always have been. Don’t let what happened take that away from you.”

Something inexplicable exploded in Felix’s chest, gripping his heart and squeezing his throat. He stared right back at Changbin, looking for any indication in his eyes that Changbin was lying, that Changbin didn’t believe what he was saying.

But there was nothing. Nothing but the cold, hard truth.

Changbin believed Felix was magic.

Felix _was_ magic.

“Changbin,” Felix managed the word through shaking lips, dropping all titles from Changbin’s name, “I don’t know if I can do it.”

Changbin smiled softly at him, moving his hands so they squeezed Felix’s shoulders, sending little sparks of warmth into his blood.

“Yes, you can,” Changbin said, “Even if you don’t believe you can, I still do. And you trust me, right?”

Felix could only nod, almost floored by the realisation that yes, he _did_ trust Changbin. After all that had happened between them, after all the bridges they’d burnt and repaired, Felix did trust him.

So, Felix took a step back, forcing his fear away as he held out a hand. He stared at his frosty palm, trying to push all emotion from his mind as he focused on digging up apart of himself he hadn’t gone near for years.

Felix’s spell knowledge was rusty, he’d forgotten most of what his father had taught him. But there was one thing, one little thing that Felix’s father had gently talked him through during an especially nasty winter that Felix thought he might be able to remember.

He took a deep breath, focusing hard on letting the magic flow through him. Felix had to let go of his stress, to forget his doubt, to tear down the walls preventing him from getting back to the magic place.

He had to let himself be a kid again.

For a while, nothing happened. Felix just stared down at his gradually chilling palm in disappointment, trying not to let himself be crushed by the realisation that he really had lost his magic.

But then another hand was reaching out, clasping gently around the one Felix still had by his side. Warmth rushed up Felix’s arm, flushing against his skin like reassurance and wrapping around his heart in encouragement.

Changbin didn’t open his mouth, but Felix still knew what he was trying to say.

_‘You can do it, Felix’_ Changbin was whispering silently into the air ‘ _You have magic inside you’_

And with that, Felix believed.

His whole hand started to tingle, a familiar rush spreading through him that felt like glitter under his skin. He channelled it into his fingers, curling his hand into a claw and desperately trying to hold on as suddenly a crisp, silver snowflake appeared from his fingertips.

Felix gasped.

His hand jolted, his mouth pulling up into a giggle as the snowflake grew to the size of his hand, spinning gently in the air before it detached itself from Felix’s skin and slowly started to rise.

A feeling of such intense happiness shot through Felix that he couldn’t help but laugh, his eyes wide and heart thumping as he watched the snowflake dance through the air, bobbing along in the breeze like a child on a sled.

Felix practically squealed.

Changbin really did squeal.

He attached himself to Felix’s side with a shout, shaking Felix’s shoulders as they both watched the snowflake, clinging onto each other like excited toddlers.

“You did it, Felix!” Changbin shook him again, making Felix look at him so they could both smile excitedly at each other, “You did it! That was beautiful!”

Felix could only laugh, turning back to the snowflake and watching as it reflected the moonlight. Its edges were sharp, crinkled with crackly bits of frost, little spindly branches reaching off from it and forming a gorgeous star-shape.

It was a stark silver in colour, dotted with small splotches of white that shimmered like constellations.

“Thank you, prince,” Felix turned to look at Changbin, his eyes tingling, “I couldn’t have done that without you.”

Changbin just shook his head at him, flicking Felix gently on the forehead.

“You’ve always been able to do that,” Changbin reprimanded with a smile, “And you always will be.”

Felix wanted to deny the words, but he couldn’t disagree that there was an intense rush of happiness that they gave him. He just shook his head and turned back to the snowflake, pouting when he realised how far away it’d gotten.

Changbin seemed to have realised the same thing.

“Hey, it’s getting away!” he called out, making Felix jump, “We can’t let it out our sight!”

With that, Changbin suddenly took off, his feet crunching over ice and his coat flying behind him as he started running.

“Hey!” Felix shouted, quickly getting his bearings before he started dashing after him, “Hey, it’s slippery! You’ll fall over!”

But Changbin didn’t seem to care, his laughs ripping through the air and eyes set firmly forward as he continued to sprint. He spread his arms out either side of him, tipping his head back so his hair flew behind him, the cold air rushing at them both.

Ice slipped under Felix as he tried to keep up, watching the prince with a smile on his face. He had a sneaking suspicion that the snowflake was long forgotten, that Changbin was actually chasing freedom.

A chance for them to play in the snow. A chance for them to be kids again.

Changbin’s giggle ripped through the empty street, almost as loud as his footsteps crashing underneath him. Felix laughed too, feeling a weight lift off his chest and his stress lift from his skin as the kingdom rushed beside him.

He let himself feel weightless for a moment, let himself believe that him and Changbin were just two young boys, two maybe maybe-more-than-friends rushing through the snow together.

They weren’t prince and knight. They weren’t orphan and son of brutal king. They were just… Felix and Changbin.

The boy with the crown on his head and the boy with snowflakes at his fingertips.

But then Changbin’s foot hit a patch of ice and his gasp rang through the air like a church bell as he tipped back.

Felix’s heart jumped, a sudden pulse of adrenalin pounding through him. He lurched forward, barely even thinking as he desperately reached for Changbin’s body.

His hand managed to clasp onto one of Changbin’s arms, clinging like rock and violently pulling Changbin over so Felix could swing them both around.

Felix didn’t even think as he did it. He was the knight. He was the one to take the hits. He had to protect.

He pulled Changbin into his chest, Changbin’s weight enough to pull both of them down, but Felix angled them so that it was his own back hitting the floor. He braced for the impact, wincing when they smacked the ground and all the air was knocked out Felix’s lungs.

Changbin landed on his chest, his hands clinging to Felix’s shoulders and head knocking against his chin.

A second of silence passed between them.

Felix got his bearings, pulled sharply back into reality by the cold ground soaking through his back. Changbin was still on top of him, pushing him further onto it, but Felix didn’t complain, not when the adrenalin was slowly starting to trickle from his heart.

That’s when Changbin seemed to realise what had happened.

“Oh my god!” he tried to sit up, arms flailing when Felix just held him place, “Oh my god, Felix! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

Felix just nodded, not saying anything as he wrapped his hands behind Changbin’s back and pulled him flush against his chest. He buried his face in Changbin’s shoulder, whining contently at Changbin’s body warmth filtering through to him.

“Felix, no, you can’t stay on the ground,” Changbin was trying to say, poking at Felix’s shoulder, “You’ll get cold, we have to get up.”

But Felix refused, shaking his head with a childish whine. He refused to look up at Changbin, too content with how warm his nose felt whilst buried in Changbin’s neck.

Changbin seemed to still at the realisation, his hand freezing on Felix’s shoulder and then carefully moving to cup the back of Felix’s neck.

“You didn’t get hurt, right?” Changbin said softly, his thumb rubbing deep circles, “You didn’t have to catch me.”

Felix pulled away at that, resting the back of his head on the ground so he could stare straight up at Changbin, looking into the subtle sparkle of his eyes.

“Don’t be silly,” Felix smiled gently at him, “I’ll always catch you.”

Something shimmered on Changbin’s face, his lips pulling up at the corners and glitter shining through his gaze. He stared in complete earnest down at Felix, tenderly tightening his grip on the back of Felix’s neck.

Felix moved his own hands so they reached Changbin’s face, one smoothing over his cheek whilst the other tangled in his hair, messing up the dark strands and making Changbin look even more beautiful.

Something shifted between them.

The magic came alive in Felix once more.

“My little snowflake,” the whisper fell from Changbin’s lips, his eyes gazing into Felix’s.

Felix felt his whole-body tingling, the cold and the fear and the years and years and years of built up resentment all suddenly melting away. He cupped Changbin’s face harder, unable to stop himself as he leaned his head upwards.

Changbin met him halfway, their lips ghosting over one another and breaths hot on each other’s faces. They both looked into the other’s eyes, a million sparks zipping between them before suddenly it was far too much.

Felix leaned up and closed the distance between them.

His eyes slid shut as their lips met, his hands tightening around Changbin’s face and keeping him in place. There was a second, just a tiny second, where they stayed still, their lips firmly pressed against each other.

But then Changbin’s hand squeezed the back of Felix’s neck and suddenly they were moving. They kissed gently against one another, their lips chapped and freezing and yet feeling so warm between them.

Changbin tasted like snow and ice and all things winter, but it wasn’t the winter Felix was used to. It wasn’t shivering nights and cloudy skies and brutal, fearful storms.

It was hot chocolate by the fire. It was the warm touch of a parent’s love. It was children laughing on sleds and the sweet smell of mulled wine and the feeling of finally, _finally_ being loved.

Felix rubbed his thumb over Changbin’s cheek, his other hand running through his hair, desperately trying to pull Changbin closer. Changbin continued to move his mouth against his, sending little fizzles of magic sparkling up his face.

Felix could only hold him and kiss back, silently praying that they could stay like that forever.

But eventually Changbin had to pull away, Felix’s eyes fluttering open to the sight of Changbin panting down at him with a look of euphoria in his eyes.

There was a part of Felix that couldn’t help but notice that Changbin looked so un-prince-like in that moment, his hair messy and sticking up and his cheeks a bright red, his lips swollen like Felix had never seen before. Felix couldn’t resist the sight, unable to stop himself from leaning up to press another peck against his mouth.

Changbin just laughed, moving his hand up from Felix’s neck to push his long hair out his face, matching smiles on both their faces.

“My knight,” Changbin said to him, his voice teasing, “My little snowflake, if you keep doing that then you won’t have to protect me anymore, because I might just spontaneously combust.”

Felix just laughed, grabbing Changbin’s face and pulling him down so he could press a loud, wet kiss on Changbin’s nose.

“Don’t be silly,” Felix said when he let go, looking right at Changbin, “I will always protect you, my prince.”


	7. ...The end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But, as they were soon to find out, sometimes when a snowstorm started, it was impossible to make it stop. The only thing they could do was cling to one another and hope not too much had been broken by the time it finally ended.
> 
> Something else was about to be broken.
> 
> Felix could feel it.

It was almost like the nights passed too quickly after that.

All it had taken was a kiss lying down in the middle of the road in a pile of snow well into the night for Changbin and Felix to realise that maybe the reason they’d avoided each other for so long wasn’t just because of Felix’s past.

Maybe it was also refusal to admit that they were crazy about each other.

A whole week had passed since the snow-filled kiss and yet Felix was still running on the summer high.

He felt like he had gold in his veins, warmth in his heart, love in his whole body. He’d been sneaking kisses with Changbin ever since and it was absolutely thrilling. His whole being was tingling with absolute ecstasy.

Him and Changbin had also taken to trying to get to know each other even more. Changbin had asked every question that could ever possibly be asked about magic and Felix had answered as best as he could.

Even when they were laying in bed together one night, Changbin laying on Felix’s chest, when Changbin had quietly asked whether Felix would want to properly take up magic full time again.

The question had stumped Felix, made his heart leap into his throat, but he’d been honest when he’d answered that he’d love to do magic again. But he’d need someone to teach him, and that someone would have to be far, _far_ away from the kingdom because Felix’s biggest fear was still the execution post and he absolutely refused to risk letting the king drag him anywhere near it.

Changbin had looked disappointed at the answer, but he understood. They both wanted Felix to be able to pick up magic again, but there wasn’t a way, not when they were both still trapped as the prince and his knight.

But Felix was learning to take the small victories he could get. Sharing a warm bed with Changbin every night was a victory. Conjuring up little snowflakes for him whenever they were in secret was a victory. Getting to hold hands throughout the day and share subtle glances whenever the king said something stupid was a victory. 

And their night-walks… their night-walks were a victory.

They made sure to share a kiss in the snow every night, only the stars twinkling down to watch them and the Moon keeping them safe from harm.

Felix would light little snowflakes to follow behind them, wisping through the air and disappearing by morning, leaving no trace of Changbin and Felix behind.

The only people who knew about them were Chan, Jisung, Minho, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin, and they were all extremely keen to keep it that way.

Just the right amount of secrets had been spilled. They all knew that they couldn’t risk anymore.

But, as they were soon to find out, sometimes when a snowstorm started, it was impossible to make it stop. The only thing they could do was cling to one another and hope not too much had been broken by the time it finally ended.

Something else was about to be broken.

Felix could feel it.

He didn’t know why he had a bad feeling. He didn’t know why his heart was starting to thrum in his chest at increasingly constant points, but he was struggling to keep pushing it down.

It had been a week since he’d first kissed Changbin, a week since he’d re-discovered his magic, and everything was fine. Everything should have been fine.

But Felix couldn’t ignore the whispers gnawing at the back of his mind, warning him that something was coming, that he’d gone too far, that all his recent happiness was going to turn around and bite him.

_Winter is the season of change._

Felix tried to tell himself that he was being stupid, that he had Changbin now, that his paranoia was normal after everything that had happened to him but he needed to learn to ignore it.

_You never really know what’s going to happen._

Felix shifted uncomfortably from where he was settled on the floor, the bad thoughts still hammering at his mind.

“You okay?” the distracted hum came from above him, Felix jumping as it pulled him out his head.

“Um, yeah… sorry,” Felix quickly said, blinking himself back into focus as he tried to ignore his bad feelings, “Just spaced out for a second there.”

The distracted hum came again, but this time it sounded a lot less coherent. Felix allowed himself to smile slightly at the noise, tilting his head back to stare at the boy sat on the bed behind him.

“Stay still!” Changbin hissed, immediately smacking a palm against Felix’s forehead and jolting his head back to where it had been, “You’re going to ruin it.”

Felix just whined, rubbing a hand over his forehead and pretending to sulk as he looked away again.

But Changbin refused to acknowledge him, staying relentlessly focused on where he was carefully braiding a side-braid into Felix’s hair. It was starting to take shape directly above Felix’s ear, the rest of his hair flopping over in its usual side-part and staying out Changbin’s way.

As much as Felix was worried, he had to admit Changbin’s administrations felt nice. The feeling of tender fingers in his hair… of loving arms brushing over his shoulders every few moments… of Changbin humming softly above him. There was something so calm about it, so serene.

It tingled gently up Felix’s spine.

The fireplace at the other end of the room was crackling pleasantly, blanketing them in a soft warmth that settled comfortably against Felix’s bones. Changbin sighed contently every now and again, filling Felix’s ears with soft cherries.

A few more moments of silence passed between them before Changbin spoke.

“Your hair is so nice, Lix,” he said, almost reaching the end of the plait, his hands still softly wrapped in the blond locks, “The colour is just… it’s so beautiful.”

Felix smiled, leaning further into Changbin’s touch.

“Thank you,” he said, manging to look back far enough to catch Changbin’s eyes, “You really like the blond? Because I don’t think I can ever get rid of it.”

“Of course, I like it,” Changbin said, tugging on Felix’s hair a little to prove his point, making him squirm, “And don’t you dare try and get rid of it. It’s suits you too well. And it’s so unique, like a little bit of magic permanently attached to you.”

The words brought a little giggle out of Felix, his heart immediately jumping at the idea of them. He’d never thought of his hair like that; it had always been him something that either brought him the biggest shame or the most pride. He’d never really seen it for just what it was… it was simply just a bit of magic.

“You know this hair makes me think of my father?” Felix said, grabbing a few of the available strands and stretching them in front of his eyes, “It’s kind of all I have left of him, the one physical reminder he gave me of the impact his magic had on my life. I hated it when he was first executed, couldn’t even look at it, but then your father brought me here and I made sure to flaunt it in front of him every chance I got.”

“Yeah, I wondered what all that was about,” Changbin said, looking up for a second to smile at Felix before going back to braiding, “I thought my father just hated that he couldn’t make you dye your hair, I didn’t realise that your hair was naturally like this and my father literally _couldn’t_ change it, no matter how much he wanted to.”

“It was one little speck of magic he couldn’t get rid of,” Felix finally let go of his hair, moving his hand to carefully rub his fingertips over the almost-finished braid, “And now his son is literally braiding the hair he hated so much. I guess life works in weird ways sometimes.”

“You can definitely say that again,” Changbin laughed.

“I guess life works in weird ways sometimes,” Felix dutifully repeated, yelping when Changbin tugged at his hair at the words.

Felix wanted to retaliate, to pout up at Changbin and say that he’d just been doing as he was told, but the words suddenly filled Felix with a sense of nervousness, realising exactly what they reminded him of.

_You never really know what’s going to happen._

Felix was once more hit with the debilitating feeling that his luck was about to run out.

He fell silent as Changbin finally finished behind him, pulling his hands away from Felix’s hair with a victorious _ah-hah!_ Changbin sounded so hopeful, so happy that Felix was ashamed to admit his heart started to pound in his chest.

He just couldn’t help but feel that they couldn’t carry on the way they were for long. Forever stuck in a place that brought them pain, stuck in a place that had ruined their childhoods, stuck in a place that had taken so much from them and was now taking their true chance to be together.

A nasty feeling started to settle in Felix’s gut.

One that was proved right a lot sooner than he’d expected.

“Lix?” Changbin said softly from above him, trying to lean down to look at his face, “Are you okay? Do you want to see your hair in the mirror?”

Felix couldn’t even bring himself to nod, too suffocated by the sudden sensation crushing his chest. He wanted to grab Changbin’s hand and never let go, to cry to him that they needed to get out, but he couldn’t put his feelings into words.

How the hell was Felix supposed to explain his paranoia to Changbin?

How was he supposed to explain that he knew it was a lot more than paranoia?

Changbin reached for him again, touching the side of his face with a gentle hand. Felix looked up at him, his eyes holding so much terror that Changbin flinched back.

But not nearly as much as he flinched when the door suddenly slammed open.

The sound ricocheted through Felix’s chest, clanging against his ears in a way that was far too familiar. He was reminded of when the guards had come for his father, of when his entire life had turned upside down.

Felix was on his feet in a second, tearing the dagger off his belt and pointing it forward, not even thinking as he shoved Changbin behind him.

Felix was the knight. Felix was the protector. Felix took the hits.

He stalked towards the door with a growl shredding from his throat, his heart pounding violently against his ribs with the incessantly dawning feeling that he’d been right. Felix had known something was going to happen. And he was right.

But then footsteps shoved their way past the door, followed by panicked voices that babbled their way in.

Felix tightened the grip on his dagger, losing all feeling in his hand and dropping it to the floor with a clang when Chan and Jisung suddenly rushed in, tugging Minho and Hyunjin behind them and slamming the door.

Felix pulled in a mangled breath of relief.

“Woah, easy tiger!” Chan said when he saw the dagger, holding his hands up to show he wasn’t dangerous, “It’s just us!”

Felix felt like he lost all feeling in his legs, his panic fading out to something far too numb.

It was okay. Felix hadn’t been right. It was just the other princes, Felix and Changbin weren’t in danger.

Changbin’s footsteps rang out behind him, his arm curling around Felix’s waist less than a second later, the strong grip warming his insides and keeping him on his feet.

Felix sucked in another deep breath. They were safe.

But then Felix watched as Chan turned to Minho and Hyunjin, his face lit with something Felix didn’t recognise.

“Minho, guard the door!” Chan barked, making Changbin and Felix jump, “Hyunjin, stay with us. We might need you.”

Felix’s eyes widened as both Minho and Hyunjin nodded once in reply, unsheathing their daggers as Minho cast Felix a glance before stalking out the room. Jisung moved to cling onto Hyunjin’s arm, gripping it too tight for it to be considered normal.

“Wha-?” Felix tried to say, but the word got caught in his throat, his mind once more swirling with all the possibilities of what could have gone wrong.

“Hyung, what?” Changbin said for Felix, letting go of him to take a step towards the now terrified-looking small crowd of people in their room, “Why are you here so late? What’s going on?”

Chan turned back to them with what could only be described as a vile concoction of shock and sadness splattered all over his face, his eyes wide and his mouth pulled sharply down. He pursed his lips as he fixed his gaze on Changbin, letting it rest there for a few seconds before his eyes travelled over Changbin’s shoulder to lock on Felix.

“Someone saw Felix conduct magic in the streets last night,” Chan said, the words leaving him in a rush, “They told the king and he’s got guards on the way here right now. He’s already vowed to execute Felix at sunrise.”

Felix’s gasp rang around the room.

The entire world tilted on an axis, resting in its jolted position before it started to spinning nauseatingly around him, his knees almost buckling at the feeling. His eyes widened, another loud gasp that wasn’t his own echoing against the walls and smacking jarringly against his ears.

Felix’s mind flashed horrifically with images of the execution post, of what was going to happen to him.

He clutched both hands his chest, clawing at his t-shirt as he tried to find something, _anything_ , to cling to.

The king knew about Felix’s re-discovered magic. Felix’s worst fears had all been right. Felix was going to end up the same way his father did.

A violent sob tore out of Felix’s throat at the thought, accompanied by another when he was brought to the sudden realisation that _he couldn’t breathe._

But then there were hands on his shoulders, a voice shouting from above him, a blurry but somehow familiar face appearing before his eyes.

Felix blinked at them, gasping at the sudden rush of oxygen into his lungs when they shook him.

“Felix, you need to snap out of it!” the person was yelling, now cradling Felix’s shoulders against their chest and smoothing shakily over his back, “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be just fine, but you need to breathe!”

Felix struggled to comply, forcing himself to take deep breaths into what he now realised was Changbin’s chest. Changbin continued to shout above him, insisting that it was going to be okay, that they were going to fix it, that Felix was safe.

Voices whispered cruelly in Felix’s mind, telling him that Changbin was wrong.

But Felix refused to believe them. Felix _couldn’t_ believe them.

He couldn’t end up at the execution post.

He just couldn’t.

So, Felix pushed away from Changbin and leaned back to look at him, their eyes meeting in a moment that had electricity sparking between them.

Felix couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and grabbing his hand, squeezing tightly to Changbin’s fingers. If this was going to be the last night Felix was going to get with Changbin, he was going to make the most of it.

But Felix couldn’t give up that easily. He wasn’t going to let the king hurt him again.

So, Felix swung back round to look at the group, making eye contact with Hyunjin for a few seconds before he switched to Chan. Chan was looking at him like a leader would look at their group, like he was ready to take charge and making everything okay again.

Felix was suddenly hit with the thought that Chan was going to make a great king one day.

“Okay, Felix,” Chan’s voice filled the room, snapping everyone’s attention to him, “We’re going to get you out of here. We are _not_ going to let my father hurt you.”

Felix nodding forcefully at the words, not trusting his voice. A lump started to form in his throat at the thought of everyone potentially endangering themselves to try and help him, but then Changbin squeezed his fingers again and he tried to remind himself that he could do this.

“Seungmin and Jeongin are at your quarters packing some of your stuff,” Chan carried on, still looking at Felix, “You’ll get to say goodbye to them and then you’re going to have to climb over the balcony. I’m sorry, I know it’s not ideal, but I think it’s the only way.”

“No, don’t apologise,” Felix shook his head, “I think I planned my escape from this place enough times to know that there’s vines all down the balcony wall that I can climb down.”

Chan, to everyone’s surprise, laughed at that. His panicked face pulled into a temporarily happy grin, Felix grinning back when Hyunjin and Jisung also allowed themselves to laugh.

“Well, I’m glad you’re finally getting to make your great escape,” Chan said, still smiling at Felix, “Make sure you stay safe out there, yeah?”

Felix nodded shakily, trying not to think about the implications of the words, how he really was about to run away, “I will.”

Felix didn’t know how much he could mean it, how much he could really promise to be safe when he’d be on the run with nowhere to go and an entire kingdom wanting him dead and magic he didn’t even know how to use. But Felix knew he had to try. He had to go over the balcony and survive. He couldn’t let the king hurt him.

His chest tightened again when he tried to walk forward, wanting to get to Hyunjin and pull him into a hug and say goodbye to his friend.

But a harsh tug stopped Felix as he tried to step away, his head whipping around to see Changbin staring at him desperately, tears gathered in his eyes.

“My prince?” Felix asked in shock, Changbin’s eyes staring straight into his soul.

Changbin stayed silent for a few moments, barely even moving besides his fingers tightening around Felix’s wrist. He refused to let Felix go, swallowing heavily before he opened his mouth.

“I’m coming with you!” he blurted, and Felix felt denial sweep through him once more.

“No, prince, you can’t do that!” Felix was quick to say, rushing forward and using his free hand to grab Changbin’s shoulder, “I have nowhere to go and it won’t be safe! You have to stay here, okay? Everything will be okay if you stay here.”

“Nothing will be okay if I’m not with you!” Changbin yelled back, making Felix jump.

He winced when he seemed to realise just how loud he’d shouted, his eyes closing and a heavy breath making its way into his throat. Felix just stared at him, shock racing through his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Changbin said, his voice much quieter, “But I’m coming with you, Felix. We’re running away together. I can’t stay here all alone without you.”

“You won’t be alone! You’ll have Chan-hyung and Jisung and everyone else,” Felix tried to say, but his voice sounded weak to his own ears. Felix knew deep down that Changbin would be much safer at the kingdom and Felix did truly want him to stay, but there was a huge part of Felix that wanted Changbin to come with him, that wanted to take Changbin and run.

Felix had to run anyway, might as well take Changbin with him…

“I’m coming with you,” Changbin said again, letting go of Felix’s hand to lurch forward and cup his face, forcing them to look at one another, “We can go to the place we dreamed about, yeah? To the place where we can be kids. You can take me to the park and to the market during the day and we can go sledding and get mulled wine together. And we can find someone who can teach you magic, who can help you get abilities back. Doesn’t that all sound amazing? Isn’t that all we’ve wanted?”

Felix had to admit… Changbin was describing heaven.

Even if they couldn’t get to it, they’d still be running towards it. They’d actually have goals instead of being stuck in a castle that was threatening to kill Felix and drain the happiness out of Changbin.

At least they’d be together.

So, with what felt like his heart sinking into an abyss, Felix allowed himself to nod.

“Okay,” he said, his voice cracking, “You can come with me.”

Changbin’s reaction was instant. He threw himself into Felix’s arms with a shout, wrapping his hands around his neck and pulling him close, yelling about how Felix wouldn’t regret it.

Felix could only pray that he was right, that he’d be able to keep Changbin safe.

“Thank you, my precious little snowflake! It’s going to be okay, yeah?” Changbin was saying, pulling back to smile at Felix before he suddenly seemed to remember that there was a very important reason that they were in a rush and they needed to get going, “Oh my god, we need to get out of here! The guards are probably close!”

Felix could only nod, turning away from Changbin and going to make his way to Hyunjin, but then he caught sight of Chan and Jisung and his heart stuttered.

Jisung was staring straight at Changbin, tears gathered in his eyes.

“You’re going to leave?” he said, his voice innocent like a child crying to their mum, Felix felt Changbin flinch from behind him.

Not even a second passed before Changbin was flinging himself across the room, pulling Jisung into his arms and shushing him as Jisung started to sob.

“I’m so sorry, Sung,” Changbin said, starting to rock them back and forth, “I have to leave. I just have to, okay? You get it, don’t you?”

Felix almost started crying himself when Jisung nodded weakly into Changbin’s chest, Chan whispering that he understood as he went to join them.

A part of Felix was tempted to just run away right there and then, leaving Changbin to stay and live his life with his family. But Felix knew he couldn’t; Changbin had made his decision and, frankly, Felix was too selfish to dispute it. He wanted Changbin with him, he wanted to keep protecting him.

It was only then that it seemed to hit Felix that he was actually about to leave. He’d actually die if he stayed in the castle. He was finally escaping the place that he’d been imprisoned in for years, and he was getting to take Changbin with him.

The thoughts sent Felix’s heart pounding in his chest, panic clawing against his skin as he watched the three princes he was about to separate all trying to hold one another closer.

Felix almost wondered if it would be better if he stayed, if it would be easier for all of them if the king finally went through with his long-standing threat and executed him.

But then Hyunjin was in front of Felix, strong arms circling his shoulders and pulling Felix into Hyunjin’s chest. A gentle hand stroked over the braid in his hair.

“You stay alive, okay?” Hyunjin said softly into Felix’s ear, “Don’t let anyone find you. Don’t let anyone hurt you. Go live that free life you’ve always wanted.”

Felix sniffled into his shirt, his hands clinging to Hyunjin’s back, “I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’m really going to miss you too,” Hyunjin sounded like he was smiling, his voice heavy and light all at the same time, “But I’ll live with it so long as you stay alive. You’re getting out of here and that’s all that matters. I refuse to let anything happen to you.”

“Look after Jisung, okay?” was all Felix could say in response, refusing to break away from the hold Hyunjin had on him, “And Minho-hyung. And Seungmin and Jeongin. And I guess Chan-hyung too.”

Hyunjin laughed into his hair, “We’ll all be fine, Felix,” he said, “Don’t worry about us. Just make sure you’re fine too.”

Felix had to wipe away tears when Hyunjin finally pulled away, one last long look being shared between them. Hyunjin had the whole universe sparkling in his eyes, a whole array of thanks and inside jokes and a million other things that left to say each other shining in his gaze. But Felix just smiled at him instead, deciding Hyunjin’s smile back was worth a thousand words.

With that, Hyunjin reached out to squeeze Felix’s shoulder.

“I’ll go swap positions with Minho-hyung,” Hyunjin whispered, “Give him a proper goodbye, yeah? He’s going to be unbearable with how much he’s going to miss you.”

Felix laughed as he nodded, his eyes never leaving Hyunjin as he turned and walked out the door. There were a few seconds of silence, ones that Felix spent watching Chan and Jisung pack a bag for Changbin, Changbin staring at them with a sad smile on his face.

Felix almost said something, tried to reassure them all, but then the door opened again and Minho came rushing in, Seungmin and Jeongin hot on his trial.

“The guards are almost here!” Minho said, pushing a tangle of hair out his face, “We have to be quick!”

Felix didn’t waste a single second to sprint over to Minho and throw himself in his arms, almost breaking into sobs when Minho instantly caught him, familiar strong arms circling Felix’s waist.

“You’re going to be absolutely fine, Felix,” Minho said into his neck, “You’re going to be so brave out there. You’re going to do amazing things. Please don’t be upset.”

A thousand glitters of gold exploded in Felix’s veins at the words, his mouth whispering endless thank-yous in Minho’s ear as Minho just shushed him, telling him it was okay, telling him he was finally getting out, telling him he was going to be amazing.

Felix tightened his grip. He was going to make Minho proud.

Minho eventually let go, having barely a second to move away before Felix suddenly had his arms full of Seungmin and Jeongin. Seungmin was crying into his shoulder, clinging to Felix’s shirt with so much force that Felix didn’t think he’d ever let go.

“I’m going to miss you so much!” Seungmin cried into him, “I’m so sorry you have to leave.”

“I’m sorry too Minnie,” Felix placed a kiss on the top of his head, trying not to think about just how hard it was going to be to leave Seungmin, “You’re going to be okay, aren’t you?”

“Of course, I’ll be okay!” Seungmin whipped his head up as he spoke, looking almost offended, “Don’t worry about me, you idiot.”

Felix gave him a watery smile, “I’ll always worry about you.”

Seungmin’s face crumpled, Jeongin moving out the way so he could slam himself into Felix’s chest again, “I’ll always worry about you too, penguin.”

Felix could only hold him closer, swaying them both as he tried to make the most of having Seungmin in his arms, of having his best friend and biggest confidant right there with him.

“You’re going to be okay,” Seungmin said quietly, his voice muffled by Felix’s shirt, “Winter is the season of change, but this winter has been kind to you. Hold onto that, okay? Be safe.”

An overwhelmingly heart-warming sob threatened to burst out Felix at the words, but he pushed it down, swallowing back the lump in his throat in favour of savouring every smart thing that came out Seungmin’s mouth.

Felix had always gone too Seungmin for advice. He wasn’t going to have that anymore. He was going to have to trust himself again.

All too soon there was a sharp bang at the door, all of them jumping at the sound of Hyunjin’s fist hitting against it. The noise was followed by a sharp shout of _Get out of here now!_ and Felix felt his skin sizzle with panic.

He jolted back from Seungmin like he’d been electrocuted, whipping round to meet scared eyes with Changbin, the two of them stared at each other for a second, seeming to need to process what was about to happen. But then Felix was running and grabbing onto Changbin’s hand, pulling him forcefully towards the balcony with the rest of the group following behind.

“We’re going to climb over, okay prince?” Felix said as the cold air smacked him in the face, the balcony doors thrown open in front of him, “We’re going to climb down the wall and run from there.”

Felix didn’t even look at Changbin as he spoke, too busy trying to look over the railing and work out the best way down. But then there was a harsh tug on his wrist and Felix turned to see Changbin looking at him in pure, raging terror.

A tremor passed through them both, Changbin looking like he was ready to collapse.

“Felix,” Changbin gasped, squeezing Felix’s wrist so tightly he was probably leaving bruises, “I can’t… climb down there. It’s too high. I can’t do it.”

His voice was fast, too fast, and high-pitched with his panic. Felix gasped when he realised what was going on, his heart dropping.

Changbin had lived a sheltered childhood. He hadn’t been allowed to play or climb trees and rough-house like most children. He didn’t know how to climb, or how to be brave, or how to scale a balcony wall and run away.

Admittedly, Felix didn’t know how to do that last part either, but he was much more prepared for it than Changbin.

“My prince,” Felix said, moving away from the railing to grab the front of Changbin’s collar and force him to look at him, “Do you remember what I always say to you? Do you remember that as your knight I promised that, no matter what, I would always protect you?”

Changbin nodded shakily, pulling in a harsh breath as Felix stared straight into his eyes.

“Well, I meant it,” Felix said, making sure Changbin was hanging onto his every word, “I _will_ protect you. I _will_ catch you. I’m going to climb on this wall first and you’re going to follow my footsteps and, if anything goes wrong, I _will be there_.”

Felix punctuated his every syllable, announcing the words like they were the most important in the world. In a way, they were, and Changbin seemed to understand, the terror in his eyes fading to trust.

“Okay,” Felix nodded at him, moving his hands to stroke gently over Changbin’s neck, “Just do what I do, okay?”

Changbin nodded shakily, and Felix pressed a quick kiss against his cheek before turning away again. He took a step towards Jeongin, who helped him shoulder both his and Changbin’s bags before stepping back and watching as Felix went over to the balcony railing again.

Felix stared over the edge for a second, taking a deep breath as he stared at the bare trees swaying just a few feet away. The view was high, really high, and Felix suddenly doubted his ability to even make it this far as he looked at the drop before him.

But then Felix remembered the king’s threat, the life trapped in the castle, everything that Felix’s father would want for him that Felix hadn’t been able to do yet.

Felix turned back to the group with a shaky smile, holding up a hand and producing one gorgeously crystallised snowflake from his palm.

The entire group gasped as it bobbed gently through the air, all watching mesmerised as it twirled a few times before settling contently on Seungmin’s hair.

“Think of me whenever you see a snowflake,” Felix winked at them, letting the words hang in the air before suddenly he was closing his hands around the railing and swinging himself over.

Intense cold rushed up Felix’s fingers at the action, the metal burning him with ice and making him wince as his feet smacked against the castle wall. He took a second to get his bearings, letting the air settle around him before he shimmied his feet down the bricks to find branches that would hold him.

Felix got lucky a few feet down, tangling his shoes in some leaves before taking a deep breath and letting go of the railing, grabbing onto a few lower down branches a second later.

His heart jumped into his throat, his whole body tensing as he waited for the vines to snap, for the trees to give away, for something to break and send Felix hurtling to his death deep down in the snow.

But, to some miracle, the ivy stayed intact and Felix heard the whole group release a breath from above him.

He had to take in a breath himself, wanting to keep steady as he carefully found some more stable branches and took another step down.

After a few more feet, Felix tipped his head back, looking up at the seven pale faces watching him from the balcony.

There was one face in particular that Felix couldn’t take his eyes off.

“Are you ready now, my prince?” Felix called up, forcing himself to keep his voice light, “The branches that I used are sticking out a bit now. If you put your feet on those, you’ll be okay.”

Changbin looked absolutely horrified at the suggestion, but he nodded all the same, sharing a look of reassurance with Felix before Chan helped him hold onto the balcony railing.

Felix could only watch as Changbin carefully made his way over the railing, Chan and Minho holding him from either side as he took a moment to get settled against the wall.

The sight was absolutely terrifying, Felix feeling his heart stutter every time one of Changbin’s hands shook, but soon he was in place, carefully making his way down so he was just above Felix.

“Okay, my prince,” Felix risked taking a hand off the wall to tenderly stroke over the back of Changbin’s ankle, “Let’s keep going.”

Changbin didn’t say anything to that, but Felix could only assume he’d heard as he started to lower himself down again, testing every branch before he grabbed onto it. Changbin stayed steady above him, Felix taking the time to grab his foot and moving it to the right place before they continued.

Occasionally, one of their feet would slip on ice and Felix would feel the fire roar in his veins every time, but he managed to keep his panic down. He managed to say something to Changbin every now and again, telling him he was doing well, telling him not to look down, telling him that they were nearly there.

It was only when they really were nearly there that Felix got excited.

“My prince!” Felix called out, looking behind him to see the ground only a few feet away, “We did it!”

Felix didn’t look before he plummeted himself off the wall, landing on his feet like a cat and laughing as he slipped on ice trying to move out the way.

Changbin was understandably a lot more cautious, choosing to climb the whole way down instead of jumping like Felix did. Felix ran to him the moment he was on solid ground, throwing the bags to the floor in favour of grabbing Changbin’s face and pressing a long kiss on his lips.

“I’m so proud of you,” Felix said into his mouth, his hands flushing at the warmth of Changbin’s skin, “You did it!”

“ _We_ did it,” Changbin pulled back to say, grabbing onto Felix’s wrists and squeezing them as he spoke, “I couldn’t have done that without you.”

A small giggle escaped Felix at the words, turning louder when he heard a bright cheer from above him. He and Changbin both looked up to see the others waving at them from the balcony, bright smiles on all their faces.

Felix could only wave back at them, laughing when they started gesturing at them to go, to run away and be free like they’d always wanted.

Another snowflake whisked its way up to them as Felix allowed himself one last long look at them, one last moment to say goodbye.

But then Felix whipped round and grabbed Changbin’s hand, each of them shouldering a bag before suddenly they were off.

They sprinted across the courtyard, their hands clasped and hair whipping back as they ran. Felix could feel the wind smacking him in the face, the ice crunching under his feet, the snow pelting against their skin.

It felt like winter… but a different kind of winter.

It wasn’t frozen execution posts and shattered lakes and snowstorms that broke the kingdom. It was something different… something new… something that Felix couldn’t wait to share with Changbin.

The two of them eventually made it to the castle gates, creeping around a guard to get out and then slinking their way through the shadows towards the main kingdom. Once they made it there, they would be bale to leave the town for good and go wherever they wanted.

Felix smiled at the thought.

It wasn’t long before they made it to the street where they had kissed only a week before, the snow fresh on the ground and the air buzzing with their adrenalin.

Felix sent a snowflake swirling in front of them, the two of them following it with hope in their eyes and anticipation in their hearts as they made their way down the road.

Changbin soon broke the silence. They were stepping over the exact spot that they’d first kissed in when he spoke.

“Hey, snowflake,” Changbin said to Felix, making him look at him, “Where do you think we’ll go?”

Felix pondered the question, looking back at the snowflake they were following as he thought.

“I don’t know,” he said after a few seconds, shrugging as Changbin’s eyes bored further into him, “Wherever we want, I guess. We can go where you were talking about, to a place with parks and marketplaces and a place… a place where we can be truly happy.”

“That sounds nice,” Changbin said, smiling as he also turned to look at the snowflake, “We can also find someone to teach you magic.”

“Yeah,” Felix smiled at the words, thinking of his father, “That’d be really great.”

Changbin squeezed his hand again, pulling Felix flush against his shoulder as they finally reached the end of the street. They turned a sharp corner, following the snowflake to the town border and holding each other close so they wouldn’t get cold.

“Maybe we could go somewhere where it’s summer,” Changbin said after a while, his eyes staring down the long path ahead, “We could chase the Sun.”

Felix hummed at the suggestion, pulling his eyebrows together thoughtfully as he pondered it. There was a part of it that sounded tempting., something about chasing the Sun that seemed so enthralling.

But then Felix looked back at the snowflake, at the ice glowing like an ice-rink on the ground, at the icicles hanging off trees and the pure innocent white surrounding them.

“I don’t know,” Felix said, resting his head on Changbin’s shoulder, “A friend once told me something really nice about winter.”

“Oh yeah?” Changbin turned to look down at him, pressing a gentle kiss on his forehead, “What’s that?”

Felix looked up at him, a knowing smile making its way onto his lips when he realised just how right the words had been.

“Winter is the season of change,” Felix said, catching Changbin’s eye, “You never really know what’s going to happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....so this is the end
> 
> thank you so much to anyone who made it this far!! i honestly had so much fun writing this story and im so excited to share it xxx
> 
> also thank you to mods for such an amazing fest!! please go and check out all the other stories in the fest and appreciate all the other hardworking writers
> 
> have an amazing day and stay safe <3333


End file.
